Storybrooke and Amazons
by horacethepig
Summary: A night of chaos in Gotham City is followed by a worsening diplomatic incident between Themyscira and Storybrooke. The Demon's Head and the Dark One have made a bargain... The sequel to Storybrooke 90.
1. Chapter 1: A Night of Chaos

Rights to Once Upon A Time is held by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz. Those to Wonder Woman, Batman, Superman, et al to DC Comics/Warner Bros. Joe 90 is owned by the estate of the late Gerry Anderson, Sylvia Anderson, ITC, etc. Rights to other franchises used are owned by: Marvel Comics; NOW Comics/Moonstone Books; the BBC; JK Rowling; Jim Butcher; Charles Addams; the estates of Peter O'Donnell and Anthony Buckeridge; amongst others. This is a non-profit attempt to play with favourite franchises.

Early March 2015

A clean-shaven long-haired man, tall and slender, walked down a back alley. There was a cough, and he spun to face a tall, willowy brunette, with a streak of pure white running through her jet black locks.

"Mr Gold, I presume?" she asked. "My name is Talia Al Ghul. I represent my father Ra's. Would you be prepared to meet him?"

"Well, _dearie_ ," the man answered in a thick Scottish accent, "I have never heard of either of you. How do you know who I am? Why should I come with you?"

"We know many things, Mr Gold," she replied. "Right now, you want to return to Storybrooke. We can create a _situation_ that can help. All we want is to make a fair bargain."

"A _deal_?" Gold asked, rubbing his hands together in glee. "What are you waiting for, _dearie_? Let's meet Daddy dearest!"

The tall, dark man with the greying goatee smiled thinly at Gold. "So, we are agreed then? I create an international incident between Themyscira and Storybrooke. You step in and return in triumph. I get privileged access to the resources of your shop."

"I don't know if your machines do what you say," Gold responded. "Perhaps you could demonstrate them first?"

Ra's Al Ghul laughed darkly. "A show of arms? I can do that. Ubu, launch the drones! Target: Gotham City!"

A number of black bat-shaped drones, small but laden with a powerful nerve toxin, descended over Gotham. From grills in the base came an invisible stream of immense power. Wherever they passed, emotions were intensified. In downtown Gotham, that could mean a number of things. One thing was certain – if the chemicals being added to the atmosphere affected the warfare between the gangs who dominated the underworld or the more colourful members of the local criminal fraternity, there would be serious trouble.

A tense stand-off between the Thorne, Cobblepot and Black Mask gangs was getting out of hand. The cops watching over the developing situation were waiting for the fighting to start, so they could intervene. Suddenly, the language became aggressive and coarse, the fingers of the gangsters and policemen alike tightened on their weapons and a sense of impending danger arose. An insult got personal, a trigger was pulled and lawbreakers and law enforcers alike seemed more interested in maiming and killing than in negotiating or stopping. This spread, with the pitched battles spreading to block the main bridges across the Gotham River, blocking any entry from the direction of Wayne Manor and, unbeknownst to the fighters, the Batcave.

A number of bar brawls became full-scale rioting in the streets of Gotham. The street ladies and their clientele started either to in indulge in grotesquely perverted actions outside of their establishments or vehicles, or to fight over the fee or exactly what _services_ the prostitute in question would or would not offer. Finally, the Joker, on "leave" from Arkham Asylum, felt even more compunction than usual to add to the chaos that was rapidly spiralling out of control. His _fireworks_ were igniting shops and homes throughout the streets nearby.

"This is madness, Commish," grumbled Lieutenant Harvey Bullock. "The streets are out of control!"

"What's new?" Commissioner James Gordon asked rhetorically. "We need to deal with all this and soon, though. Any thoughts?"

"Our men seem as much caught up in the madness as anyone else," Bullock pointed out. He gave a deep, heartfelt sigh. "While I can't stand having to rely on vigilante freaks…"

"We need them tonight!" Gordon finished as he went towards the stairs leading to the roof – and the Bat-Signal.

Bruce Wayne smiled over the dinner table. With Selina, Dick, Barbara and little Mary the only others present for dinner, it was decided to use the smallest and most intimate of Wayne Manor's dining rooms. The meal was excellent – Alfred had prepared a feast rich in taste even by his own exalted standards.

"This Salmon Wellington is exquisite, Alfred," Barbara congratulated him.

"Thank you, Mistress Barbara," the butler, chef, valet and chauffeur to Bruce Wayne (not to mention the _other_ duties required by his employer's alter ego) replied. "I see Miss Mary is making quite the mess." Having an eight-month old only recently weaned off breast milk around had also played a part in choosing the dining room.

"How do you two cope?" Selina asked. "I've often wondered how I would manage if Bruce and I…"

"Don't even think about it, Selina!" Bruce interrupted her hastily. "There is no place for a baby in…"

"Your life, I know!" His girlfriend finished for him. "Don't I have a say in the matter? It's my biological clock that's ticking away!"

Suddenly, a bright light shone from afar. A rotating searchlight beam, with a black bat in flight motif in the centre, continued its circle of the sky.

"Duty calls!" Dick sighed. "Fancy getting back in the saddle again, Babs?"

"I have been out a couple of previous times over the last month, darling," his wife retorted. "Still, even after losing the baby-weight quickly, I could do with the exercise.

"Alfred, the bag with the wipes, baby food and diapers is in the hall. I put the steriliser…"

"In the kitchen, next to the set of knives," Alfred finished. "Good hunting, all of you!"

Bruce was the first to enter his study, with the other three just behind him. He opened the grandfather clock and adjusted the hour and minute hands to show 10:47, the exact time his parents were shot dead. Pushing on the clock face caused the section of the wall behind the antique timepiece to swing open, revealing a spiral staircase descending deep into the ground, from which the sounds of distant bats could be heard. The four rushed down the stairs and the secret door closed behind them, the clock resetting itself to the correct time.

At the foot of the staircase, the stonework of Wayne Manor's foundations and under-basements was replaced by an ancient network of caves. Once this had housed part of the Underground Railroad, now it was home to vast numbers of nesting North American brown bats; several advanced methods of transportation, by land, water or air; the most extensive forensic laboratory in the world; a sickbay most hospitals would envy; and a computer system that NASA would consider impossibly advanced. At that moment, however, they were interested in a series of stainless steel vaults. Bruce entered one, Selina a second and Dick and Barbara a third (according to the latter, it was the only chance she got to see her husband in little or nothing without being interrupted by a bawling infant). Within a few minutes, Batman, Catwoman, Nightwing and Batgirl were standing in front of a police-band radio, listening to the mounting carnage in Gotham.

"Right, Catwoman and I shall take the Batmobile…" Batman began.

"You would be better taking the Batcopter, Batman," Nightwing interrupted. "The bridges are blocked and the Batplane is bigger and harder to land. We'll take the Batboat to the Gotham Docks. Batgirl and I can pick up a Batmobile or a couple of Batcycles from one of the subsidiary Batcaves, if we need land transport."

"Good thinking!" his adopted father praised him. "Actually, Catwoman, please take the Subway Rocket to one of the abandoned subway stations near the carnage. You may be able to _acquire_ some papers from our local mob bosses. See if anyone has anything to gain from this chaos."

At that, Batman boarded a monorail car headed to the section of the Batcave where the Batplane and Batcopter were parked. Meanwhile, Catwoman, Nightwing and Batgirl took an elevator to the lower levels of the cave. Catwoman disembarked a couple of "floors" before her companions did.

Reaching the Batcopter, Batman boarded; used remote controls to activate the fog and wind machines that concealed the exit; checked the radar jamming device was operational; and activated the remote that opened a large "hangar" door, the other side of which was disguised as a rock face halfway up a cliff. He then launched his vehicle and left the Batcave, remotely closing the hangar door behind him. Flying in between cliffs and hills that surrounded this route towards Gotham, he set a course for the police headquarters.

Catwoman boarded what looked like a mad scientist's attempt to adapt part of a failed steampunk space rocket into a subway train. She punched in the requested path and was launched on a railway track in the direction of Gotham City. After a while, a number of hidden doors by an abandoned subway station opened and the Subway Rocket joined the main line. On-board devices cloaked the vehicle from being detected by the subway authorities whilst keeping the craft from meeting (or, worse, crashing into) any trains en route to central Gotham.

Batgirl and Nightwing boarded a bat-winged trimaran moored on a harbour beside an underground river. They sealed the cockpit canopy, cast off and travelled along the waterway. On reaching a "blocked" path, the smaller side hulls retracted to become part of the main body of the vessel. This promptly submerged, travelling underwater until it came to a door, the reverse of which was also disguised as a section of rock, this time deep under the Gotham River. Travelling underwater for a few more miles, the craft then resurfaced, switching back to trimaran mode.

Batman flew the Batcopter above the Bat-signal beam and landed on a flat, vacant section of the roof of the police headquarters. He disembarked and approached Commissioner Gordon.

"You seem to have a whole host of problems tonight, Jim!" he commented. "Any idea what is causing this mayhem?"

"No idea, old friend," Jim sighed. "Suddenly, a three way stand-off between the main Gotham gangs led to a four way fire-fight also involving the SWAT team monitoring them. Prostitutes then started to service their punters in all sorts of ways that should not be seen in public even in _this_ city. To make it even worse, the Joker then started a one-man bombing campaign! At least, the other crazies…" A voice came through his earpiece. "I knew that was too good to be true! Harley and Ivy are raising hell downtown.

"Well, I hope you have better luck in…" He turned around at the sound of the Batcopter starting. "If he had come any other way, I would be talking to myself for even longer, as usual."

The Subway Rocket disappeared through a secret hangar door just before another abandoned station. Shortly afterwards, a store front in a nearby condemned alley hinged upwards and a cat-themed motor scooter emerged. _Thankfully Bruce saw sense over having "Cat" vehicles in his caves and lairs, alongside "Bat" and "Bird" ones. It wouldn't do much for my street cred to turn up in a Batmobile on a girls' night with Harley and Ivy._

The Batboat submerged again as it approached Gotham Docks. The grating of what appeared to be an air intake slid aside and the craft entered before the grating closed again. Within a few moments, the end of an outlet pipe on the ground above swung out and Nightwing and Batgirl ran out.

"Shall we take the bar brawlers and prostitutes or the gangs first?" Batgirl asked, as the hidden door closed behind them.

"The prostitutes and their punters," her husband responded. "We can disperse them with a few smoke bombs and tear gas pellets. Once done, we can pick up a Batmobile. If we are going to be the fifth side in a pitched battle, we need proper firepower. Also, I know our suits are a Kevlar-mix…"

"…But the armour-plating would be better!" his wife finished for him.

Reaching the red-light district, they used grappling wires to reach the roofs. Nightwing had been right. Hurling smoke and tear gas pellets into the throng below was enough to cause it to disperse.

The window of the study in Oswald Cobblepot's penthouse over the Iceberg Lounge opened. Catwoman entered, checking as she did that the Penguin had not left any birds of prey in his suite in case of visitors. She found the safe behind a portrait of a Humboldt Penguin and used an advanced miniature computer of Batman's design to crack the combination. After taking photographs of the documents within with a miniature digital camera, she replaced everything just as it was and closed and locked the safe after her. _Not bad_ , she thought, as she closed the window behind her. _I've visited two of the three mob bosses' premises now. Now to visit the Sionis residence! From what I can tell this carnage isn't in either Thorne's or the Penguin's plans. I wonder what the Black Mask is up to, if it is him behind this?_

The Joker drove his clown-faced car through the streets of Gotham, laughing madly as his rocket-launchers blew up some more buildings. "Chaos, lovely chaos!" he cried.

From above, a searchlight illuminated his vehicle. He looked up and saw the pursuing Batcopter. "Batsy! As if my fun wasn't complete!"

He fired further rockets at the pursuing vehicle. Batman launched ball-bearings at these, causing them to explode safely short of him. He then fired a pellet straight into the Joker's car. "A present, Batsy? You shouldn't have!" The capsule exploded, producing a cloud of tear gas. The Joker had little choice but to park the car and leave on foot.

"Now for you to land and fight me, Batsy!" the Joker yelled at the helicopter above. In response, a panel in the front of the Batcopter opened and a grapple and line was fired. This caught the villain around the waist and allowed him to be lifted bodily off the ground. "Put me down!" he demanded. A speaker grill activated. "If you insist!" growled Batman in his deepest, most commanding voice, so different from Bruce Wayne's affable lyric baritone. The other end of the line was jettisoned from the hovering aircraft, bola-type weights encircling the top of a streetlight. Helplessly hanging several yards above the ground, the killer clown shook his fist at his foe.

"Now, off to take on Harley and Ivy!" Batman's voice came through the speakers. "Your girlfriend and her best friend should provide a proper fight! There's a homing device in one of the bolas which the Gotham police can use to find you. So, keep hanging around and you should awake from your nap back in Arkham."

"I'll do the jokes, Batsy!" shouted his arch-enemy. "Wait, what nap? I'm wide awake!"

"Thanks for reminding me!" A nozzle extended from the Batcopter and a concentrated stream of soporific gas was fired directly at the Joker. The last thing he heard before he succumbed to Morpheus was a growl of "Goodnight!"

Nightwing and Batgirl headed towards a deserted warehouse not far from the pitched battle. The latter twisted a length of a drainpipe and a panel opened, revealing a keypad. Her husband entered a code and a hidden door opened, with retina scanners just behind. Once they were recognised, the secret entrance closed behind them and an elevator door opened and took them down into one of a number of "subsidiary Batcaves" hidden in and around Gotham. As with most of the others, this contained living and sleeping quarters, computer terminals, equipment lockers and a small selection of vehicles. Selecting a duplicate of the Batmobile, the crime-fighters entered and started the ignition. The vehicle roared into life and headed towards the back of the "cave" (despite the name, it was more of a lair or den than a series of grottoes). A section of ceiling descended to form a ramp, which took them out into a condemned back alley behind the warehouse. Pushing a button on the dashboard closed the ramp and another button lowered and raised a barricade.

"The fight's still continuing!" Batgirl commented after the police band radio flickered into life.

"Well, we are ready for a fight!" Nightwing responded. He turned the steering wheel sharply and the Batmobile turned towards the sounds of the fierce fray.

A couple of minutes later, they had reached the carnage. The Batmobile's armoured exterior would have withstood anti-tank rockets, let alone the rounds fired by both SWAT team and gangsters alike. Two compartments opened on the sleek, black exterior and mortars extended to fire large tear gas canisters into the midst of the battle, forcing the other combatants to back away from the car and from each other. One enterprising gangster tried to ram the vehicle with his truck, but the oil slick ejectors caused it to slip into a fire hydrant before it got anywhere near.

"What could we do if the Batmobile had the Black Beauty's fire power, Batgirl?" Nightwing asked.

"The rockets would certainly come in handy!" his wife agreed. "Whilst the Hornets have also had a non-killing policy, their 'gangster' reputation means they can pack more of a punch with their 'rolling arsenals.'"

Nightwing parked the Batmobile and the crime-fighters disembarked. Within seconds, the remaining gangsters were being treated to a martial arts masterclass. Whilst Nightwing was delivering a meaty karate chop to a Black Mask acolyte, Batgirl was delivering a perfectly timed flying kick to a member of the Penguin's mob. Two Thorne associates were floored by simultaneous left hooks from the two vigilantes. Carefully aimed batarangs, shuriken and tear gas pellets scattered the SWAT teams. Within a few minutes, that section of the effective warzone was cleared. They returned to the Batmobile to move to the next street they would have to clear.

Catwoman was just finishing returning everything to the relevant place in Roman Sionis' safe, when a deep voice sounded from behind her: "Do you know what they say curiosity did to the cat?"

She spun around. Sionis was standing behind her, wearing the black mask that gave his alter ego his name. He was carrying a large machine gun, the barrel pointed straight at her heart. She raised her hands above her head. "I've heard that joke before!"

"It wasn't a joke." His finger pressed lightly against the trigger, readying to fire. "Say goodnight, little kitty!"

His foe suddenly leapt up, twisted in mid-air and used her still raised hands to launch herself into a series of cartwheels out of the way of the bullets. She stopped, then ran at the gangster, removing her whip from her belt as she did so. With a flick of her right wrist, she used the whip to disarm Black Mask before crashing through a window, using her whip again, this time to slow her descent.

Black Mask looked out of the window. He heard an engine growl into life and saw Catwoman leave on her scooter. _No point in ordering my men to chase her. She'll be long gone by the time they can get started._

Meanwhile Catwoman, noticing she was not being followed, headed back towards the "garage" by the Subway Rocket terminal.

"Aww, Red, just think about the trinkets we could get for Mister J!" Harley Quinn exulted as they turned over a jewellers shop.

"Harley, _I_ am raising funds for the preservation of rare plants!" Poison Ivy protested. "What do you see in that man anyway? He clearly doesn't feel the same about you, judging by the way he treats you!"

"That's foreplay, Red!" her friend responded.

"I didn't think you were that _intimate_ , Harley. He doesn't love you!" _At least not how I love you, anyway. How can you not see that I would never treat you as a doormat?_

Unbeknownst to the two villainesses, the Batcopter had just landed on a flat roof opposite. Batman dismounted, fired his grapple-line and swung across the street. As he moved towards the front of the jewellers, he produced a flash-bang grenade from his utility belt and hurled it through the smashed window. He released his hold on the line and glided through the window, kicking first Ivy and then Harley to the floor, before landing gracefully and turning around. He was met by two bolts from Ivy's wrist-mounted crossbow. Whilst they did not penetrate his suit, it allowed Harley to perform a series of cartwheels that ended with her left foot catching Batman's shoulder. He turned and grabbed her right ankle, then threw her at her friend, who was running up to join the fray.

"You are putting up more fight than that boyfriend of yours, Harley," Batman commented.

"Poor Mister J! What did you do to him, you big bully?" Harley began to run at him, but Ivy held her back.

"Wait, Harley…"

Ivy was cut off as a steel-wired, weighted net was flung over the pair of them. Batman approached them. "Harleen, Pamela, you are going back to Arkham. You know, Pamela, there are places where an eco-warrior would be an asset. Why don't you forsake crime and take your friend to defend the rainforests?"

"The jungle? No way! I can't stand bugs! Sorry Red," Harley complained.

"You've been dating one for years!" Ivy and Batman chorused in unison.

Harley pouted, as the police arrived to take the girls back to Arkham.

Batman grappled up to where he had left the Batcopter and took off.

"Catwoman, are you finished?" he spoke into his communicator.

"Yes, Batman, I'm in the Subway Rocket en route to the Batcave."

"Nightwing? Batgirl?"

"We're finishing up with the last streets of the turf war carnage," Batgirl replied. "We should be back in the Batcave in a couple of hours or so."

Once the communicator was on silent, Nightwing turned to his wife as he prepared to start the Batmobile. "We've pretty much finished. Why did you tell him a couple of hours? It shouldn't be much more than thirty minutes to return the Batmobile, retrieve the Batboat and return to base."

"Ah," she purred. "You do know what we could do in over an hour in one of the subsidiary Batcave's bunks, don't you?" She leaned over and kissed him passionately.

He started the Batmobile. "You've convinced me, Babs!"

Needless to say, it was a couple of hours before the Batboat docked at the Batcave. For once, Mary had not interrupted her parents' tryst.

"I'm convinced, Ra's!" Gold exclaimed. "You have a deal!"

"Thank you, Mr Gold." The leader of the League of Assassins smiled thinly. "Soon we should both get all that we want. Ubu, prepare more drones. Set up the radio-wave transmitters to repeatedly subliminally signal four words over Themyscira: "Athena", "Marry", "Henry" and "Storybrooke". That Mad Hatter is a genius! Then send in the drones!"


	2. Chapter 2: The World of Men and Supermen

Late March 2015

"What has got into their heads?" Donna Troy asked her sister Diana Prince as they flew back to the World of Men in the latter's invisible jet.

"I don't know, Donna," her sister confessed. "I'll check in with the IADC tomorrow. Maybe Steve IV and IRAC II can provide some information. We can contact our friends in the business. It sounds as if we may need a peace-keeping, or even peace-making, force.

"For tonight, let's get back to our homes and our partners. Perhaps you and Roy could contact Dick and Barbara? We'll be needing Bruce on this one."

Diana propped herself up in the bed and looked down at Clark Kent and Lois Lane snuggled up beside her. "That was fantastic! Just what I needed! Thank you both!"

Lois sat up herself, before leaning in to cover Diana's lips with her own. "We both enjoyed that session of love-making as much as you did, Diana!" she noted after their long, passionate kiss had ended.

"Indeed," Clark agreed, before pulling himself upwards to claim his own kisses from his life-partners. "So, can we help with your fellow Amazons?"

"Yes!" Diana exclaimed happily. "I'm putting a peace-keeping force together. Superman would be a great asset! You can help too, Lois. We'll need tactical and first aid support.

"For now, though, I'm still feeling somewhat frisky…"

The lovers snuggled back down beneath the duvet, ready to resume their efforts…

"We need to talk!" came from behind the curtains. Batman stepped out through the window of the Kent/Lane/Prince residence's master bedroom, to be greeted by three glares.

"One of these days, Batman, you and I must have a talk about basic privacy," Diana scolded her friend.

"I do seem to have caught you all at a bad time," the Dark Knight admitted.

"A few minutes earlier, or a minute later, and you would have caught us in flagrante!" Lois retorted.

Diana asked Batman to face away from the bed. Once he had done so, Clark fetched three bathrobes. Once they had put them on, Diana asked their friend to turn around again.

"As you know, there was a night of chaos in Gotham City…" the masked vigilante began.

"Is there any other kind of night in Gotham?" Lois interrupted.

"Mass rioting, perverted al fresco coitus, the Joker on the rampage, Harley and Ivy…"

"She's right, Bruce, that does sound like any other night in your city." Clark sighed. "Both this house and Wayne Manor have these wonderful devices known as telephones. You could have called ahead to let us know you were coming."

"Just say what you have to say, Bruce," Diana instructed. "The quicker you get talking, the sooner you get to cuddle up to Selina. Then we can try to forget this ever happened."

The Caped Crusader gave them his most menacing scowl. "When analysing the atmosphere in Gotham and the blood samples from the warring gang members, I discovered traces of a chemical compound that appears to have been weaponised. This appears to have been administered by being dispersed into the air. It increases extreme emotions, like anger, lust and so on.

"According to Wayne Industries satellites, traces of these chemicals are in the atmosphere around Themyscira. We are also picking up traces of radio waves that seem to be subliminally signalling the four words: "Athena", "Marry", "Henry" and "Storybrooke".

"After Roy and Donna contacted Dick and Barbara, they passed the news to me. I scanned the Bermuda Triangle and took the Batplane to Metropolis as soon as I could."

Diana nodded. "Do you know where the gas and the signalling are coming from?"

"I am currently working on that," Batman allowed. "I've got a breakdown of the compound here." He placed a file on a chest of drawers. "That super-computer of the IADC's might link to sources not available to WayneTech. You can also use official channels to run it past UNIT, SHIELD or the W.I.N.

"One other thing. There is a plant-based chemical only present in a part of the Himalayas where the League of Assassins have a training centre. Ra's Al Ghul has been quiet recently. This must be his handiwork."

"Thank you, Bruce." Diana thought for a moment. "Clark, Lois and I will meet with you in Maine the day after tomorrow." She checked her watch. "Actually, as of twenty minutes ago, just tomorrow!

"Goodnight, Batman!"

Clark was about to echo her, but realised their friend had already left. _Somethings never change!_

"Now," Lois commented, "where were we?"

"Good morning, Diana," Steve Trevor IV said. He was the great-grandson of Steve Trevor senior, her old love from World War II, and the grandson of Steve Trevor junior, her friend and IADC Director from the 1970s. Unlike his forebears, this Steve knew that she was also both Princess Diana of Themyscira and the superheroine Wonder Woman. Like his grandfather, he had been appointed Director of the Inter-Agency Defence Command. He also knew that Clark Kent was also both Kal-El of Krypton and Superman. It made having him over to the Kent/Lane/Prince household for dinner less awkward. Indeed, he regarded his Amazonian Senior Caseworker and her Kryptonian lover as the best back-up in the business. _Lois would agree. With the exception of Mystery Inc.'s own journalist, she must be the most danger-prone reporter in the business. Clark thinks it's a fetish! Well, when either or both of us rescue her, the rewards are great!_

"Good morning, Steve." She smiled at the man she regarded as the elder brother she never had. "Can you have this formula analysed by IRAC II, please? It was given to me by a friend…"

"Would this be the Robin Hood wannabe, the blonde or brunette Playboy Bunnies or the guy with the bat fetish?"

"Batman. I wouldn't advise calling either Black Canary or Zatanna Zatara a Playboy Bunny in their presence, even if they do wear fishnet tights. You may find out what a Canary Cry or "Turn into a frog!" spoken backwards sound like!"

Steve shuddered theatrically, then turned to the computer in the briefing room they were in. This was the Information Retrieval Associative Computer Mark II, the successor to the one she worked with in the Seventies. Unlike its 1970s predecessor, this one was small with a proper screen with high-quality graphics. "Ira, please examine this formula," he requested, before placing Batman's analysis into the scanner.

Ira responded almost immediately. "The formula is a compound of a rare plant extract from Nepal, some DNA from a proto-simian from the Amazonian rainforest and a rare element only found in the Australian Outback. It was designed to be used in a gaseous form to generate extreme emotions by over-stimulating human hormones."

"Would it work on the Amazons, Ira?" Diana asked.

"Affirmative!"

"Then what do you make of this please, Ira?" Diana placed the break-down of the subliminal radio-wave transmissions in the scanner.

"Subliminal signalling at a super-sonic frequency. This was based on the mind-control technology of Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter. He is a known psychopath and a major enemy of the vigilante known as Batman.

"The message appears to consist of four words, "Athena", "Marry", "Henry" and "Storybrooke". Henry is the adopted son of Regina Mills and the biological son of Emma Swan. You have been to the town. Diana Prince was awarded honorary citizenship of Storybrooke and a medal for Special Services…"

"…In defence of the community," Diana interrupted. "There's due to be a ceremony shortly in which we all get our citizenship qualifications and medals. It will hang in the secret room off the master bedroom, between the mirror I use to contact home and the wardrobe Clark keeps his spare costumes in. Henry is a great kid. So why does Ra's Al Ghul want my niece Athena to marry Henry or Themyscira declares war on Storybrooke?"

Steve turned to her. "So, you will be off to Maine?"

Diana nodded. "Yes, as are Clark, Lois, Kara, Donna, Arsenal and some of Batman's people. We leave tomorrow."

"Take Rover II. Call me on your secure cell phone if you need me.

"Will you be needing transport?"

"I'll take the invisible jet with Lois. Clark can fly alongside us. Donna and Arsenal will be going with Batman and his friends. Kara will fly separately.

Before that, though, I need to contact a certain SHIELD agent."

Natasha Romanoff was sitting in her usual spot in the coffee shop. She stood up and greeted her old friend warmly. "Diana! You wished to speak to me?"

"Natasha, hi! Yes, I did." She checked no-one was looking and passed the spy an A4 manila envelope. "Ra's Al Ghul is trying to cause a war between Themyscira and Storybrooke. I want you to get this information from my friend Bruce to your friend Peter."

"Bio-chemical analysis?" She studied the findings. "It's not my area, but, if anyone can find an antidote, he can."

"Thank you. I've contacted the W.I.N. Joe is home-schooled these days, so is free to come. Also, pass on the subliminal signalling analysis also in the envelope to Peter and to SHIELD. I've forwarded copies to UNIT."

"What about the White Council?" Natasha was concerned. "I know Regina and Emma are unable to do magic outside Storybrooke, but…"

Diana nodded. "I'll speak to Zatanna and Wednesday. Now, can you visit Maine tomorrow?"

"Da! I thought you would never ask!"

"What have you got for me today, Uncle Sam?" Joe McClaine asked Sam Loover, as the latter arrived in Culver Bay.

"A return trip to Maine. The League of Assassins is trying to cause a war between Themyscira and Storybrooke."

"What?! Why?" Joe looked at his "uncle". "Is Henry OK?"

"Well, the news came from the IADC's Senior Caseworker. Diana would know. Yes, he's fine. If he doesn't marry Diana's niece Athena shortly, though, he may not be."

"Athena? She's nice enough, I suppose. Henry's not 15 yet and she's about the same. How are they old enough?"

"14 is old enough in both Storybrooke and Themyscira, Joe. Ah, Good Afternoon Mac! We did take Diana Prince's brain pattern record, didn't we?"

"Of course, Sam. Why?" Professor Ian McClaine had just arrived back from the village shop.

"I'll explain in the laboratory, Mac. Prepare the B.I.G.R.A.T. We are off to Storybrooke."

Kono Kato finished the self-defence lesson he was giving Henry Mills, Grace Jefferson and Nicholas and Ava Zimmer. The latter had just picked up the Kung Fu strike with her usual alacrity. Not only was the girl formerly known as Gretel a quick learner, she was also cunning with a natural aggression. While she was not cruel or vicious (at least, not with him, her twin or her friends), but her natural athleticism meant she picked up the mixture of Kung Fu, karate and aikido he was teaching them well. Kono was wondering whether to bring in specialists to teach them judo, krav maga and other martial arts.

"Try and get some practice of the motions during the next couple of weeks or so. I'll try and schedule our next lesson soon."

Nicholas groaned in mock disappointment. "Great! Another couple of hours of being flung about the room by my twin sister!"

Henry chuckled before turning to his instructor. "Thank you, Mr Kato. It was good to add another couple of moves to our repertoire."

Ava was practically purring. "Yes, thank you, Mr Kato. Any bullies wouldn't stand a chance!"

"Ava," Kono spoke gently, "always remember, no martial art is infallible. If you have a more powerful or determined opponent, or they start using a form of unarmed combat you haven't studied, they can still beat you. Having said that, most bullies are cowards. Stand up to them and they will back down or flee.

As I said, I'll try and arrange another lesson soon. Obviously, Mr Reid's schedule as a concert pianist and our _other_ careers might make that impossible."

"Are we all set, Lois?" Clark asked, as they finished their preparations for the following day.

"Of course, Clark!" Lois snapped. "General's daughter, remember? Packing at short notice is not unknown for investigative journalists like us or secret agents like Diana either!"

"Just checking, sweetheart!" Clark looked up as Diana returned from work. "Is everything all arranged for our trip to Maine?"

"Yes," Diana agreed, "it is." She walked up to Clark and kissed him deeply, before going over to Lois to kiss her in the same manner. "Fancy a ride in the invisible jet, Lois?"

"Was that a euphemism, Diana?" Lois smirked. "Seriously, I can't fly myself, as Clark can. Plus I have this really cute pilot to snuggle up to."

"Actually, Lois, that line sounded a lot cleaner in my head!" Diana turned to face Clark. "Perhaps you should join us? It sounds as if we'll be joining the Mile High Club!"

He looked thoughtful for about half a minute. "What are Invisible Airways' in-flight meals like?"

"A picnic basket?!"

Henry and the others had arrived at Granny's Diner. Regina and Emma were at one of the tables. He sat down opposite his Moms and ordered a burger, with fries and a milkshake.

"You look shattered, Henry," his blonde Mom told him. "What were you doing today?"

"Officially, learning a couple of Kung Fu body strikes. Unofficially, being thrown around a room by a blonde dynamo called Ava Zimmer. She's scary! Pretty, but scary!"

"I'm also directly behind you!" Ava laughed. "No girl minds being called pretty, Henry!"

Henry's tablet chimed. "Oh, an e-mail from Joe. He wants to Skype me, urgently!"

He touched the screen a few times and his friend appeared. "Hi, Henry!" he said urgently, his slight Dorset burr more noticeable than usual. "We're just about to leave for Storybrooke! You seem to have attracted the attentions of Ra's Al Ghul, the leader of the League of Assassins."

"That can't be good!" Henry replied.

"Wait," Emma said, "you have heard of them, Henry?"

"No, Swan, he knows an organisation calling itself the League of Assassins isn't likely to be a charity!" Regina sighed. "Why are they interested in us?"

"Goodness only knows! Ra's is a nutcase who believes him taking over the world would stop the rest of humanity destroying everything, or some such twaddle. Sincere enough, I suppose, but stark raving crackers, as Uncle Rex would say.

"Do you remember Diana, Wonder Woman, the one in the star-spangled swimsuit?"

"The one who nearly removed Dr Whale's ability to procreate?" Regina asked. "The toast of every grown woman in Storybrooke! What about her?"

"Our mad friend is trying to get Henry to marry her niece Athena, or her native Themyscira to declare war on Storybrooke.

"Diana found out yesterday and she and her sister Donna – not the niece's mother, that's Drusilla, her other sister – have been putting us on alert. They will be with you tomorrow morning.

"Remember, Amazons are not as strong as Diana or even Donna without certain magical items. They are, however, still stronger, faster, and more agile, heal quicker and tire slower than normal humans, male or female. Approach with extreme caution.

"I've been given Diana's brain patterns. It won't make me a meta-human, but does give me a knowledge of Amazonian tactics and strategy. Like some others who are coming, I will try and keep the peace."

"Thank you Joe!" Regina said.

"What does Henry's fiancée look like, Joe?" Nicholas asked.

Joe shrugged. "She looks like a miniature of her aunts: tall; long black hair; friendly enough when not effectively under the mind-control of Ra's Al Ghul. I'm sure her aunts have photographs of her. Henry could do a lot worse, I suppose."

"She is _not_ my fiancée!" Henry announced crossly. "I don't know anything about her, other than she has a hot aunt!"

"Oh, yes!" Nicholas said dreamily. "Is she still in a relationship, Joe?"

"Does it matter?" his sister scoffed. "She's physically a grown woman, is super-powered and probably has the pick of every man on the planet. She might even be a lesbian, for all we know."

"She's bisexual, as it happens," Joe interrupted. "She lives with the most powerful metahuman on Earth, her fellow superhero Superman, and their mutual girlfriend. Lois Lane is, like Clark Kent, his civilian identity, an investigative reporter for the newspaper called the Daily Planet. Diana, of course, works as a secret agent for IADC. The three of them are very happy together. You stand no chance, Nicholas!"

"A boy can dream!" Nicholas sighed. "What about her sister?"

"Do you want to battle a superb archer with the ability to make anything into a lethal weapon for her?" Joe asked.

Nicholas groaned. "Why are all the hot ones either taken or gay?"

"Or a decade or more too old for you!" Ava interrupted. "See you tomorrow, Joe. It'll be good to have an opponent close to my age who will offer a _real_ challenge. Do you know any judo?"

Joe grinned. "Quite a lot, as it happens. I took down Mr Scrubb with a judo move. It's limited in the field, but is useful to know.

"See you all tomorrow. Good night!"


	3. Chapter 3: Arrivals and Heart-to-Hearts

"Well, I do so love visiting a patch of forest in the middle of nowhere!" Roy Harper announced, in his Arsenal guise. "What do you think, Nightwing?"

"According to Diana, we were to meet with her party and Kara here," his old friend replied. "She has been to this Storybrooke place before. Have you, Donna?"

"Not yet. I'm due to come with Clark and Lois for the ceremony in which Diana, Natasha and the others are awarded honorary citizenship and outstanding service medals."

"Good to see you all again," Natasha Romanoff noted, showing up dressed in the Black Widow's cat-suit and with Wednesday Addams and Zatanna Zatara on either side. "A SHIELD Jumper brought us here an hour or so back."

Wednesday produced a cell phone and entered her contact list. She selected Regina's name and then began to speak into the phone: "Hi, Regina... I'm well, thanks. How are you? That's good… Yes, my family are doing well. How is Henry? That's good, too… Can you let Natasha, me and a few others in, please? Thank you… See you soon. And you. Goodbye!"

As she was speaking, a beautiful blonde in a red mini-skirt, blue top with a red and yellow "S" logo and red cloak and boots landed and greeted them. After about ten minutes, an elegant, black haired woman seemed to appear from nowhere. After embracing Wednesday and Natasha, she addressed them: "Who are these friends of yours?"

Natasha pointed to Zatanna. "This is Zatanna Zatara, one of the world's most powerful witches. The girl in the black costume with the white star pattern is Donna Troy, or Troia, Diana's younger sister. That archer is Roy Harper, alias Arsenal, Donna's boyfriend. The blonde is Kara Danvers, alias Supergirl, the cousin of Diana's boyfriend. As to the others…"

"I'll take over from here, Ms Romanoff," Batman growled. "I'm Batman, this is Catwoman and the young man's Nightwing. We are here to help defeat Ra's Al Ghul. That's all you need to know!"

"Ignore him, ma belle Regina, he's a grouch!" Wednesday informed her.

"I'm right here!"

"Social skills aren't your strong point, darling," Catwoman purred.

Suddenly, three figures appeared in the sky. Diana piloted the invisible jet overhead in her Wonder Woman costume. Clark was in his Superman outfit. Lois had her tablet in her hand, dressed in her smartest dress. Regina held aloft the Snow Queen's Scroll and the forest disappeared, being replaced by a port town. Diana landed the jet by the Town Hall. The three lovers disembarked, with Clark and Diana carrying most of the luggage.

"It is good to be back in Storybrooke!" Diana announced, hugging first Regina and then Henry. "Have you heard anything from my mother and niece?"

"Not yet." Regina nodded at her passengers.

"Hello, your majesty," Lois said curtseying. "I'm Lois Lane and this is Clark Kent, or Superman in the costume he is wearing. We are Diana's _significant others_. We are due to return here for Diana's ceremony."

"Ah yes, when young Nicholas asked if Diana was still in a relationship, Joe ended up explaining your domestic situation."

"Another admirer, Diana?" Lois quipped. "Do we need to take the matter further?"

"He's still about 16. No!"

"Joe should be here soon," Regina commented. "I assume Sam and Mac are coming with him. Anyone else?"

"My friends and fellow Spiders, Peter Parker and Jessica Drew, or Spider-Man and Spider-Woman, should be coming. Hopefully, Peter should have an antidote to Ra's' nerve gas we can use." Natasha shrugged. "Kono and Paul were in the area from yesterday's defence lesson. They are getting the Base Camp ready, in case we need it. Modesty, Willie, Harry and Jack hope to be here in the next day or so. Richard thinks he and the others should be finished on their current assignment later this week and intend to come as soon as possible."

"Oh, and there's one other defender already here," Diana announced. She opened a box and lifted out a miniature robot. "Well, a scout anyway. Meet Rover II!"

She switched the robot on. "Report, Rover!"

"Hello, Wonder Woman!" Whilst Rover II looked closer to a real dog than the long-obsolete Rover Diana had worked with in the 1970s (although Sarah Jane Smith thought it still lacked something compared to her own K-9 Mark IV), it still spoke in a high-pitched squeak. "I have established a remote satellite link with IRAC II. Downloading data on any suspicious activity in this part of Maine. One flying vehicle approaching, probably Professor Ian McClaine's Jet Air Car. The journey started shortly after a W.I.N. transport aircraft arrived at a local USAF base from England. Satellite imagery matches the Jet Air Car. The only other movement by land, sea or air within standard search parameters has been positively identified as the Black Beauty. Both vehicles are due to arrive in approximately fifteen minutes."

"Thank you, Rover. Continue full area scan and report back."

Back on Themyscira, Hippolyta was mustering her troops. "It seems my other two daughters have chosen to finally abandon us Amazons for slavery in the World of Men. Tomorrow, we leave for the United States to address our demands to The Council and the UN. If that fails, we go straight to Maine and put Storybrooke under siege."

"Then Prince Henry of Storybrooke will be my consort!" Athena crowed. "I intend to be pregnant before the year is out. Our daughter will be raised to be the best Princess Themyscira has ever had!"

Ra's Al Ghul turned to Mr Gold. "The Amazons are leaving to address their demands for the wedding to take place. Just think, your great-granddaughter might be an Amazon Princess!"

"And my grandson? A future Mayor of Storybrooke? King of Fairy Tale Land? She's a pretty thing, so Henry and she should have a great life together. Unlike me, he'll get to see his grandchildren grow up. I'll see you later, Ra's."

Ra's smiled as Gold left. _There will be no grandson. If it goes ahead, your grandson will have no contact with any granddaughters. Any Storybrooke heirs will have to come from another consort. Didn't I tell you this? Well, I might have done if you hadn't agreed to a deal, assuming I was quite open and honest about everything…_

The Jet Air Car arrived in a clearing in the forest where Storybrooke was hidden at the same time as the Black Beauty. Joe called Henry and Regina came out to show them the Scroll. Once again, the forest was replaced with the town.

Joe pulled Henry into a one-armed hug. "How are you bearing up? It must be a shock to find you are at the centre of a diplomatic incident!"

Henry sighed. "Even by our standards, this is weird! Why me?"

"Have you offended a lunatic with a greying black goatee and an unfortunate taste in high-collared cloaks?"

"Not as far as I know!"

"What would he get from Storybrooke?" Joe asked.

"Gold's shop, Belle's library, my house," Regina coming up and hugging Joe tightly. "What would he be after?"

"Power," came a familiar growl. Batman approached. "Influence. Control. A perverse view of justice. A misguided environmentalism. I know him better than anyone and I rarely understand his motives."

"One of these days, Batman," Joe declared, "someone will teach you not to appear or disappear without warning."

The vigilante actually gave him a grimace that might just have passed as a smile. _From him, that's almost beaming._

"What's his problem?" Henry asked.

"He's the best masked vigilante in the business," Diana said, coming up along with Clark and Lois. "He's actually really pleasant in his civilian identity, as Joe would agree." The boy spy nodded.

"Batman has a number of dangerous enemies," Clark agreed. "While Ra's Al Ghul and Hugo Strange know the face behind the mask, many of them don't. If they did, his loved ones would be in greater danger. If someone found out Diana's and my civilian identities and went after Lois or my adoptive parents…"

"Wait, you are adopted too?" Henry enquired.

"That's not the only thing that you and I have in common, Henry. My natural parents aren't from around here either!" the metahuman laughed. "Kara and I are aliens in both senses of the word!"

"Is he compatible…?" Regina asked Diana.

"Very, thank Aphrodite!"

"How did the three of you get together?" Henry asked.

Lois smiled. "That's a great story," she said. "Clark and I became friends shortly after he joined the Daily Planet about five years ago, although we never developed anything else beyond casual flirtation. A year or so after that, Diana went undercover for the IADC in the warehouse of a Columbian coffee company, which was a front for drug smugglers. Clark and I were snooping in the warehouse. We got caught, Diana blew her cover trying to help and the three of us were tied to chairs and locked in a back office. Once we had been left alone, Clark broke his bonds easily before untying me, while Diana did some Houdini trick on her own ropes. He admitted he had a secret and removed his Clark Kent clothes to reveal the Superman outfit beneath. Once I had slapped him for keeping that from me, I promised I would keep his secret and turned to Diana, asking her to do the same. She said was that she would keep his secret if we kept hers and then did her "quick spin change" act. Superman and Wonder Woman captured the smugglers and Clark and I got our scoop.

"The three of us met up to discuss things, Diana quickly befriending me and Clark. Within three weeks we were dating, within two months we were lovers and after six months we had sold our three flats and bought our current house. My sister Lucy and Clark's adoptive parents were shocked at first, but they quickly got used to it. Donna and Kara were both delighted for us, as were the rest of Diana's family on Themyscira."

"Diana, do you have any photographs of your niece?" Henry asked suddenly. Diana produced a tablet and showed him a picture of a tall girl of about his age. She had bronzed skin, a thick mane of long raven hair and was promising to be quite curvy. The white robe covered everything but her head, neck, arms and lower legs. "She's pretty, but I don't know anything about her. What's she like?"

" _Pretty!_ " Nicholas exploded, having come up to see what his friend was looking at. "Are you blind or gay?! She's supermodel hot!"

"She's both beautiful and great to be with, but I'm biased!" Diana laughed. "Remember, though, it's not Athena behind this, but Ra's Al Ghul."

"I understand that! What harm have I ever done to him?"

"Oh, he will have a purpose, Henry," Diana assured him. "It may not make sense to anyone else, but he will have one."

It was later that evening. Joe was on his way up to his bedroom at Regina's house. Most of the heroes were staying back at the abandoned nuclear bunker a few miles away that formed their base camp. Mac, however, was staying with Killian on board the Jolly Roger and Diana, Lois and Clark had taken a room at Granny's Diner. Wednesday, like Joe, was staying at Regina's.

As he went up the stairs, he heard a sniffling noise. Identifying the room, he knocked on the door. Regina opened it. "Joe, I thought you were going to bed."

"I was, Ms Mills. Then I heard sounds that suggested you were upset and I wanted to check that you were alright."

"Firstly, Joe, it's Regina. Second, I was worried that this curse on me never seems to adapt as I change. I don't want Henry married to a girl he has yet to meet. Particularly if it has been arranged by some whacko with his own death cult.

"I suppose I may have grandchildren I can play with one day. Judging by Diana and what I've seen of Donna, the Amazons raise kids into brilliant adults."

Joe sighed. "Yes, but only women can access Themyscira and even female paternal relatives are banned from any role in their upbringing. They don't even have visitation rights!"

" _What_! I don't want _my son_ being in _any_ such position!"

"No," Joe agreed. "Believe me, Ms Mills – sorry, Regina – we are all trying to ensure that does not happen. According to our friend Rover, there have been signs of Amazonian troops heading for New York City. They shall be addressing the secret Super-Plenary UN Assembly and the Council over the next couple of days. If negotiation fails, how long can Storybrooke withstand a siege?"

Regina looked thoughtful. "Considering we have plenty of fresh water and sanitation, decent food stocks and no-one can enter without being shown the Scroll, theoretically a few months. How would we do in a straight fight?"

"Against the Amazons? They are a highly trained, disciplined, militaristic society. Also, as I told you and the others via Skype yesterday, they are strong, fast and agile, with tremendous stamina. If a war breaks out, I wouldn't give you much chance, I'm afraid."

Regina groaned. "You know, when I cast the Dark Curse and brought everyone here, I thought no-one on this world would notice. How did Henry get into this mess?"

Joe shrugged. "Your spell worked well enough, Regina. Unfortunately, the advanced extra-terrestrial derived technology of Torchwood, the psychic mutants and the witches and wizards all detected that you had arrived. We just couldn't enter. Then there was Owen Flynn…"

This time Regina sighed. "I just wanted someone who would love me without being subject to the curse. Then his father was kind of rugged. Perhaps not to my usual standards, but he was handsome enough and I could have had a ready-made family. Graham was around at the time, to attend to any additional _needs_ I might have had.

"As always, though, everything went wrong. They wanted to get back to their own lives, which didn't feature me or Storybrooke. I overreacted as always. Then – Owen was gone and I had killed Kurt.

"I had proved myself truly the Evil Queen – again! How many times have I said that evil is not born, but made? I couldn't have done a better job at turning Owen bad if I'd tried!"

"Having had access to his memories for a time? It wasn't your finest hour by a rugby, maybe even a cricket, score." Joe gave his own sigh. "Needless to say, he tried to get everyone in to rescue his father, or to avenge him.

"We couldn't. It was the latter end of the Cold War. UNCLE, Nemesis, the I.M.F. and the other security and intelligence services were busy dealing with the fall-out from that. The W.I.N. hadn't even been founded at that time. Besides, it was an event of extra-terrestrial origin. So, he was sent to SHADO, UNIT and even Torchwood. Well, SHADO, the Supreme Headquarters, Alien Defence Organisation, was busy with a major invasion of shape-shifting aliens in the early-to-mid 1980s. UNIT were under-funded and over-stretched and their Unpaid Scientific Advisor was unobtainable. Torchwood didn't consider a missing American tourist a "threat to the British Empire". Besides, you appeared to be magical, so he was sent to the White Council, as the most widely-recognised international wizard body. They hadn't seen anyone like you before and were terrified. Although they can deal with most arrivals from the Never-Never, you clearly came from Somewhere Else. The Dark Curse was beyond anything they had encountered. Besides, you were clearly extra-terrestrial in origin, so they sent him back to SHADO, UNIT and Torchwood. Basically, the poor boy was sent from pillar-to-post and no-one emerges from this sad episode with any credit.

"As to the metahumans, mutants and so on: Diana was incommunicado on Themyscira; Natasha had only just been turned from the Soviets; the X-Men, the main mutant force, weren't combat ready; Captain America was still frozen in the Arctic; and most of the others hadn't started operating yet. Nick Fury, the SHIELD director, was around, but he is neither super-powered nor diplomatic. Wednesday, Harry, Zatanna, Sorcerer Supreme Stephen Strange and the White Council's agent Harry Dresden did suggest seeing if they could go in a decade or so back, only to be talked out of it by the White Council. That would have been far too late to have turned Owen back to the light anyway."

"We did consider it, yes," Wednesday agreed having entered the room unnoticed. "Tabitha Stephens, Willow Rosenberg and the Charmed Ones were also involved later on. The White Council, however, was worried that if you found out this world had magic, you might take action against us. We were warned off.

"Regina, there was nothing you could have done to bring Kurt back. Really, Owen should have had his memories altered, but we kept leaving it to the next organisation. Eventually, he just stopped asking for help and disappeared. We assumed Torchwood had used "Retcon" on him, while they thought we had obliviated him. When Greg Mendel of the Home Office appeared, no-one linked the two.

"It was only after the Chicago Harry – that's Harry Dresden – had destroyed their main headquarters, that we learned the truth. By that time, he had vanished again. Do you know what happened to him?"

"He was killed in Neverland by Peter Pan ripping away his Shadow," Regina explained. "Gold killed Tamara by ripping her heart out and crushing it. As they had both tortured me and kidnapped Henry, my tears were limited!"

"Merci beaucoup!" Wednesday nodded. "At least we can remove them from the list of former Home Office agents unaccounted for.

"Now, I think we had better get to bed. Tomorrow, diplomacy is the order of the day! We will need to face Queen Hippolyta over the conference table. Oh, and for Henry to meet his admirer…"


	4. Chapter 4: Speak Softly

Diana sighed as she lay awake in their room at Granny's Diner. Lois and Clark, knowing she would be facing her mother and niece across the conference tables in the secret United Nations chambers reserved for the countries that do not exist in the standard atlas, just held her tight. They knew when to talk and when to be silent. _This is why our Storybrooke friends are so into True Love. OK, this is hardly classic One True Love, but we are happy. I thank the goddesses every day for granting me this bliss!_

She sat up and smiled sadly. "This won't be an easy day for Donna and me, so thank you for being there."

"You don't need to thank us, my love," Clark murmured. "If true love needs no apologies, it needs no expressions of gratitude either."

"Not that either are unwelcome, Smallville, so stop the Farm Boy act!" Lois snapped. "We'll be there with you, so chin up, Themyscira!"

Diana laughed, then snuggled back into place. "Well, we've still got time and I won't be going back to sleep. I've got the perfect activity in mind…"

The people of Storybrooke gathered together. Regina, Henry, Emma, David and Mary Margaret were leaving for New York. Batman had brought the Batplane into Storybrooke earlier that morning, Kono Kato having dropped him off at the disused nuclear bunker that served as the Base Camp in the Black Beauty. Regina had let both car and plane in with the Scroll. The Storybrooke contingent would go in the larger Batplane with the Dark Knight and the Feline Fatale. Wonder Woman, Troia, Superman and Lois were taking the Invisible Jet, with Mac, Joe and Natasha taking the Jet Air Car. Natasha would be meeting up with Peter Parker to check up on his progress at preparing an antidote to the nerve gas. The others would be going to the United Nations building to negotiate with Queen Hippolyta.

"Now," Wednesday said as they prepared to depart, "the rest of us will survey your fighting forces and see if we can do a Magnificent Seven job on your residents. Zee and I will see if we can shore up your magical defences."

"Zee being that Zatanna woman, right?" Mary Margaret guessed.

Wednesday nodded.

"Was it the initial or the magic that gave it away?" Regina asked cattily.

"Anyway," Wednesday interjected hastily before Mary Margaret could respond, "Harry should be meeting up with you there and coming back with you. He can do a quick scan later and add any tricks of his own.

"Jack, Modesty and Willie should also be returning with you."

"We depart in fifteen minutes. Anyone not on board will be left behind." Batman was his usual cheery self.

" _Seriously…?_ We're not children about to catch a school bus, Batman," Emma complained.

"Ms Swan, it's my plane so you'll play by my rules!" he growled back.

"Where did you find him?" Killian Jones asked. "Charm school?"

"I don't think I've ever seen him and his friends without their masks on," Emma noted. "We don't even know what their real names are."

"That's a security measure, according to Diana and her partners," Henry informed her. "Although why he thinks their enemies, apart perhaps from this League of Assassins, are coming to Storybrooke to force us to tell them who they really are, is beyond me."

"Diana and her boyfriend don't wear masks," David pointed out. "Her sister and his cousin don't wear them either. They all arrived in costume and were dressed as ordinary people later on."

"All four of them only need to change their clothes and hairstyles to look completely different," Regina noted. "Oh, Clark and Diana put those costume glasses on! Their faces seem rounder and less heroic somehow."

"First stage in devising a successful disguise, make it simple," Joe explained. "Add a higher instep, a slightly higher heel as well in the ladies' cases, to the boots and that makes them look taller, slimmer and straighter in posture. The change in hairstyles and the spectacles help change the profile of the face. Simple, but effective.

"Batman and his team are different. They are not powerful demi-goddesses like Diana and Donna, nor are they super-strong, flying aliens like Clark and Kara. What they are is normal humans like us. The costumes are as tough as plate armour, but they are also symbols. By putting them on and going out into the night, after hours of training and with a job lot of expensive gadgets, they become more than humans. It's the same for Arsenal and his allies and for the Green Hornet and Mr Kato.

"Yes, Batman's grumpy, intense and paranoid. Considering he is a costumed vigilante of some years standing, being alive and uncrippled is a considerable achievement.

"It's time for you to board, though. I wouldn't put it past him to carry out his threat!"

"Mother, Athena, these are Regina and Henry Mills, David Nolan, Mary Margaret Blanchard and Emma Swan. Guys, may I introduce you to Queen Hippolyta of Themyscira and her granddaughter Athena." Diana performed the introductions swiftly, as they met in the United Nations secret chamber.

"So this is my fiancé, Auntie Di!" Athena exclaimed in delight. "Could you chaperone us for our first date?"

"I'm on chaperoning duties, Athena dear," Donna told her. "He's not your fiancé, at least not yet anyway."

"What about him?" Hippolyta asked, pointing at David.

"He's Henry's maternal grandfather," Diana explained patiently. "In that position, he will join in the negotiations."

"Why?" her mother demanded. "Men are useless idiots!"

"So is this one, but his wife's worse!" Regina quipped.

"Hey!" Mary Margaret protested. "We're on your side!"

"So you are! Now what are you wanting from us."

Hippolyta sighed. "We want Henry to marry Athena and father the future princesses of Themyscira. If he does not, it will be war between…"

"Yes, we got that part!" Emma interrupted.

"How do you know they'll be daughters?" David enquired.

"Henry and Athena will drink the waters from a sacred spring on Themyscira, dedicated to Artemis, goddess of maidenhood. This will ensure all offspring are females, strong, fast and agile, but chaste and courteous. The perfect Amazons!"

"Hypothetically," David asked again, "what would happen if Henry needed a male heir?"

"I'm sure a secondary consort could provide one," Hippolyta noted. "Henry will need one for his usual _urges_ , after all."

" _Really…?_ " Mary Margaret exploded. "Fairy Tales are about One True Love, not notches on bedposts! Henry isn't the type to have a harem of consorts. Princess Athena, you look pretty healthy. I'm sure you could keep Henry _satisfied_ …"

"What, from Themyscira, where you all will be forbidden from visiting?" Athena clarified brightly. "I mean you may steer my offspring into bad habits if you spend any real time with them."

" _Seriously…?_ " Mary Margaret was fuming. "We don't help raise our own great-grandchildren, just because we _may_ bring them up badly?"

"It seems to me, young lady," Regina told Athena, "that you are not after a husband at all. My son is _not_ a glorified sperm donor!"

"Perhaps it's best if I take Athena and Henry to the café next door," Donna suggested.

As they were about to leave, Hippolyta said: "Prince Henry's family, there is something I must ask on my granddaughter's behalf. What experience do you have of ruling?"

This time it was Regina's time to snap. "Your majesty, just how the hell do you think he can be called a prince in the first place?"

"What _experience_ does he have?"

"At fourteen? None!" Regina responded crossly, as Henry nodded his agreement. "How dare you even make that suggestion?! Now, if you are done insulting us…"

Diana smiled ruefully at Donna as her sister escorted Henry and Athena out of the room, before sitting back down between Lois and Clark. _This is going to be a long day…_

Natasha went into the building marked Parker Industries. With a couple of quick flashes of fake ID, she was escorted into the main office. Peter Parker rose to greet her with a tight hug and a smile.

"Good to see you, Tash! We've been working on that formula. We think we should have an antidote ready and into mass-production shortly."

" _Da_ , Pete that is good news!"

Her friend nodded. "Yes, once we have enough prepared, Jessie and I will be coming down with the means to administer it to the Amazons. Matt and his friends from the Kitchen can take care of things in the rest of the city for a few days.

"Oh, I've passed the papers on the signalling to Tony. He's whipping up a jamming device as we speak! Hopefully, the combination of the two should restore them to normal."

"Thank you, Pete. I'll see you and Jessie soon. We spiders should stick together!"

"Indeed we should! See you soon, Tash!"

"So what music do you like?" Henry asked Athena as they sat down in the café with Donna. They were enjoying cookies and milkshakes.

"From what I've heard of the music of the World of Men, I like classic or hard rock. Some of that folk stuff our mutual friend Joe likes is stirring, particularly the protest, recruiting and rebel songs."

"OK. What about Taylor Swift?"

"No! All she does is whine! Why not just fight her exes, like a proper Amazon would?"

"She's not an Amazon, Athena!" Donna interrupted. She suspected Henry probably preferred Ms Swift to Aerosmith or the Corries.

"I know that, Auntie Donna!" Athena huffed.

"Films?"

"War movies!"

"Why am I not surprised? Games?"

"Archery, pankration…"

Henry sighed. "We have nothing in common! Why do you want to marry me?"

"You are a fairy tale prince, are you not?"

"Well, technically, I suppose."

"I am an Amazonian princess."

"I know, but your Aunts aren't dating princes."

"They have agreed to give up succession rights. I haven't. Thus I need to marry a prince. You!"

"Who did your mother marry?"

"One of the Innes of Pellucidar."

"Did he…?"

"Yes, he has numerous offspring with his other consorts, one of whom will become King of Pellucidar in due course."

"OK." Henry motioned to the waitress. "Do you have any chocolate brownies please?" She did. "Athena, Donna?" Both said "Please". "Three brownies, please."

Back in Storybrooke, Roy was inspecting the archery skills of the residents, whilst Dick (still known only as Nightwing) and Kono inspected their hand-to-hand abilities. Whilst not bad, the Fairy Tale folk were not to Amazonian standards. Kara patrolled the area from the air, whilst Wednesday and Zatanna checked the magical defences.

"These are not bad, Zee," Wednesday commented. "Getting into Storybrooke without the Scroll is going to be tricky."

"I think we should have adequate defences, Wednesday," Zee agreed. "I'm sure Harry will provide a fresh pair of eyes later."

Roy approached. "Many of the ladies are good with a crossbow and most of the men are superb with a sword or an axe. I don't think they are to Amazonian standards, certainly not tactically, but I think we may not be totally outclassed in a battle."

Kono nodded. "Other than basic fisticuffs, no-one other than Ava, Nicholas, Grace and Henry have had any real hand-to-hand training. I've taught them some karate, aikido and Kung Fu. Ava picked up a few basic judo moves from Joe yesterday. She could be a superb fighter.

"Sadly, I don't think there's enough time for Diana or Donna to teach them or the other townsfolk any pankration. Nightwing knows some from sparring with Donna, but hasn't the time to provide more than a pankration 101. The Amazons are trained from infancy in that art."

Kara had landed. "Nothing to report so far. Rover?"

Rover II had been programmed to recognise Superman, Supergirl, Troia, Arsenal and the current Wonder Girl (Cassie Sandsmark, the illegitimate daughter of Zeus and an archaeologist) as honorary IADC agents, in both costume and their civilian identities. It would thus accept any command, request or question from any of them or Lois (similarly honoured) as if from Diana or Steve.

"Sensors detect no serious presence in the area. Satellite imagery suggests large Amazon fleet setting sail from Themyscira, probably to rendezvous with the rest of the Amazons. There is a low probability of any attack until the day after tomorrow."

"Thank you, Rover." Kara looked at her friends. "Well, hopefully we won't need to fight, but if we do, we might be able to stop the Amazons for long enough to counteract the _outside influences_ acting on them. Any ideas what Ra's might be trying to achieve?"

"None whatsoever!" Nightwing was clearly frustrated. "I suspect we'll only find out once he decides to tell us."

The negotiations were continuing, although the venue had changed to the Council's own secret chamber. Hippolyta was waxing lyrical. "I was raped by Heracles and near to death. I was, however, led by the goddesses to the Paradise Island of Themyscira. There I would found a place where no human man could visit, without being blessed by the goddesses. Superman, for instance, can visit whenever he wants. He is one of the few males I actually respect. When this is over, I hope Diana will bring Clark and Lois back to visit."

"We could do that now, if we weren't worried about mind-control," Lois explained.

"I assure you we are _not_ being controlled," Hippolyta responded. "What evidence do you have to support this ludicrous claim?"

" _I_ provided the evidence!" growled Batman. "My credentials are well-known…"

"A vigilante who claims to be a child of the night? A man with an obsession for revenge, driven to put on a bat costume and fight evil? A delusional paranoid who sees a threat in every word or deed?"

"Firstly, your majesty, I seek _justice_ , not _revenge_. Not just for me, but for everyone!

"Secondly, I've got evidence. Evidence that has convinced everyone not weak-minded enough…"

Diana narrowly avoided the temptation to face-palm herself. _Nice work, Bruce! Now she'll refuse to accept anything you say on principle._

"I'm not weak-minded, you delusional, pointy-eared freak!" Hippolyta interrupted.

"Now, Ms Mills, Ms Swan, will you give up your son, or are we at war?"

"Look, your majesty," Regina began, "I am very sorry you were raped by Heracles. What the hell does that have to do with _my son_? He wasn't even born until about three and a half millennia after the offence was committed!"

"I need princes from similar secret places to provide potential successors…"

" _Really…?"_ Emma interjected. "So _my grandchildren_ can succeed to the throne in about the 80th millennium?"

"We can still be killed, albeit not easily. We are functionally immortal, as I believe the phrase is.

"Themyscira now serves as a sanctuary for wronged women. That is why men cannot enter. Men can be cruel, useless, violent, untrustworthy…"

"What a shame you still need one for the conception!" Regina snapped. "This whole proposal is an affront to every value we Fairy Tale Land people hold."

"We are at war! Diana, Donna, I beg you…"

"I am sorry, mother," Diana said. "When Donna and I swore to protect the World of Men, we included the possibility of it being from the Amazons at the goddesses' request. We must now fight, even to the death if need be, to do so."

"Then I am sorry too, my daughters. I hope you both survive. The same for you too, Clark and Lois. I fully intend to welcome you all back in time. For now, though, I must renounce you all as traitors and enemies. You are all hereby exiled from Themyscira!"

"You would really do that to your own family?" Mary Margaret was furious. "Regina was right, for once! You are proposing and enacting the opposite of all we hold dear!"

"From you, that was almost complimentary!" Regina commented to her former stepdaughter.

"There is another matter to consider," the Council's Presiding Officer, Illya Kuryakin, noted. "Since Storybrooke is located off the coast of Maine and considering the protections placed upon it recently, I fail to see how any attack on the town would not involve military operations on US soil. This could be considered an invasion."

"Consider it how you will!" Hippolyta responded. "We will attack Storybrooke as soon as we can!

"Come, Athena!"

"Goodbye, Prince Henry!" Athena called. "I hope to wed you soon! Goodbye, Aunties, Clark, Lois! It was good to see you again, Joe."

"Likewise," the boy spy responded. "I enjoyed my visit to that training camp in stealth we were both enrolled on. Next time, I hope we meet as friends again."

After their mother and niece had gone, Diana and Donna collapsed into their chairs, emotionally drained. Lois and Clark set about comforting their lover and her sister.

"We're here. Lois and I, plus Roy on our arrival back at Storybrooke, won't forsake you," Clark assured them.

"You are right to be corny this time, Smallville!" Lois noted. "So, pick yourselves up, Themyscira and Donna!"

"Thank you both!" Donna was perking up a bit.

"Boy, you two are _so_ getting lucky tonight!" Diana smiled as brightly as she could.

"I think you've finally corrupted her, Lois!" Clark quipped.

"I corrupted the pair of you a long time ago, Smallville!"

"I don't know why she ignored the evidence," Batman mused.

"Perhaps if you hadn't called the famously easy to offend Queen Hippolyta weak-minded, she may have accepted it," Joe suggested. He had left the W.I.N. desk to join the delegates for Storybrooke.

"He's right," Jack Harkness left the Torchwood bench to join them. "Batman, don't ever become a diplomat. Whoever you are representing will be at war with wherever you are sent within a few hours of your arrival!"

"So," Harry Potter announced as he, Modesty Blaise and Willie Garvin approached, "when do we leave for Storybrooke?"

"As soon as we can," Catwoman promised. She turned to her boyfriend. "And darling, if you as much as hint that you will be leaving without anybody, you will be sleeping on the couch tonight!"

Batman sighed as they approached the underground monorail station that connected the Council's headquarters with the abandoned out-of-town business centre which covered the place where the Batplane, Jet Air Car and Invisible Jet, amongst others, were parked. One of these other vehicles was a modified UNIT helicopter given to Jack for Torchwood use. Since Jack, Gwen and Rhys, plus occasionally Mickey and Martha, were all that was left of Torchwood, it was capable of holding all five plus any equipment they were likely to need in the field. UNIT had also passed on a land rover and a couple of disused safe houses to serve as bases. The new headquarters had been immediately dubbed Torchwood Five and the subsidiary Torchwood Six. Jack, Harry, Modesty and Willie would be taking the helicopter to Maine.


	5. Chapter 5: Preparations for War

On their arrival back at Storybrooke, Regina assembled a Council of War. "This is the hardest thing I have had to do since we arrived on this world. I never thought we would have to fight for a boy's freedom."

"Remember," Emma added, "Henry is a relative or a friend of everyone here. The Amazons want a prince purely to father a daughter or two. This is not about One True Love, the only type of matrimony for a Fairy Tale prince."

"Right," Leroy asked, "how do we beat them?"

"I've been granted Diana's brain patterns, including her skills and memories," Joe explained. "Diana, Donna and I are going to try and figure out the best way to keep them at bay for long enough for us to counteract the effects of the mind-influencing techniques of this man…"

A picture of a tall man, with greying black hair, a similar neat moustache and goatee and dressed in an old-fashioned suit and a high-collared cloak was projected onto a white screen.

"This is the man known as Ra's Al Ghul, the leader of the League of Assassins. Since his name is derived from the Arabic for "the Demon's Head", we assume it's a pseudonym. He is known to have at least two daughters, Nyssa and Talia. This is Talia, one of his usual top agents."

A photograph of Talia appeared on the screen, replacing her father.

"She's hot!" Nicholas commented.

"She's pretty enough, I suppose, but potentially lethal. With black belts in various martial arts, a mastery of a variety of weapons and a sociopathic personality, please DO NOT approach.

"If you see them, contact Batman, Nightwing or Catwoman immediately. They have by the far the most experience in dealing with them."

"Remember," Batman growled, "Ra's leads the League of Assassins, an organisation that lives up to its name. They are a truly formidable force, trained in stealth, strategy and various types of armed and unarmed combat. Most of them are slavishly devoted to Ra's. All of them, as the name suggests, are trained killers!"

"OK, don't take on the guy with the goatee, or his daughter," Killian nodded. "That seems fair enough to me!"

"We'll discuss strategies and defensive techniques tomorrow," Diana promised. "It's getting late."

As they all prepared to go home, she linked arms with Clark and Lois. "Now," she whispered, "I believe I said something about the two of you getting lucky tonight…"

"So, Henry," David teased, "what did you make of your admirer?" He, Mary Margaret and Emma had stopped off at Regina's for drinks and nibbles before returning home.

"Don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous and seems friendly enough," Henry commented. "It's just, well, I don't know her. Indeed, most of what I do know about her is that we have little in common.

"If I have to marry her, I will. I hope I don't, though!"

"We'll try our best to avoid that outcome," Joe promised.

"Yes, _mon vieux_ , we will do all we can to keep you single until the girl of your dreams comes along," Wednesday added.

"Thank you both!" exclaimed Henry. "I'm sure she will make someone very happy someday. I just don't want it to be me, unless we happen to be in love."

"Exactly!" Regina said. "I don't know how it is in Themyscira, but in Fairy Tales, to not marry for True Love alone is a recipe for disaster. Really, Princess Athena will thank us in time."

The girl in question was leading a training session of Amazonian girls. "We must get our fighting skills battle-honed. You are to be my personal guard. Sappho, I want you to be my standard bearer and my chief bridesmaid. Chloe, I want you to serve as my shield maiden and another bridesmaid."

Sappho had close-cropped blonde hair, blue eyes and was about Athena's age. Chloe was slightly younger than them, about Joe's age, with auburn hair and hazel eyes. Both girls were tanned and lean. They were two of Themyscira's most promising fighters and also Athena's best friends.

"Thank you!" Sappho exclaimed. "It is a great honour!"

"Likewise!" Chloe agreed. "Now, is Joe going to be fighting?" After meeting the boy spy on a stealth training course in the New Forest, she had developed something of a crush on him. For his part, Joe thought the tomboyish Amazon "sort of OK, for a girl."

"Of course!" Athena laughed. "Perhaps you can ask him out at the reception? Now, don't surrender to him easily in the battle, will you?"

"I won't, Princess. You can count on me!"

"How many times have I asked you to just call me Athena? Now, back to pankration training!"

Ra's Al Ghul poured Mr Gold a 25ml glass of Glenfiddich single malt Scottish whisky. "I believe you are a Scotch drinker?"

"Thank you very much!" the Dark One replied. "By the way, what were you planning on looking for in my shop?"

"Possibly, something to increase the power of my Lazarus Pits," the Demon's Head replied. "Maybe a bacterium or virus I can use as the basis for a plague? A way to travel to a world of assassins? Who knows? I'll know it when I find it!"

Gold laughed. "Fair enough! Now, when am I likely to expect a great-grandson to play with?"

"You are not! The couple are to drink some waters from a spring on Themyscira that guarantees only daughters."

"I'm not fussy! A great-granddaughter or two will be most welcome." Gold was cheerier than usual at the thought of Henry having children to raise, something Rumpelstiltskin had been denied.

"I'm sure the heartbreak will delight you," Ra's commented.

"What heartbreak?"

"Henry not being able to raise his own daughters. They would be raised on Themyscira by the Amazons. No members of the paternal family shall have visitation rights."

"Wait, Ra's, did you know this?" Gold was frantic now. "Did you really think I'd want my grandchild to be unable to see his children after I spent so long searching for his father?"

"Well, if you had asked, I would have told you. Now to stage manage my little war…"

"War? Wait, what will happen to Belle, to Henry…?"

"What did you think I meant by "diplomatic incident"? Really, Mr Gold, you should ask these questions before you start making bargains."

"Wait! _Nobody breaks a deal with me, Dearie!_ "

"How have I broken our deal? I promised a diplomatic incident. You have one!

"It should be easy for you, once Storybrooke is in ruins, to persuade the townsfolk to end your exile. Then you can let me access your shop. Our deal is still on!"

"So it is!" Gold agreed. _I must alert Belle and Henry! Now, how to pass on the message? Which organisation does young Joe McClaine work for again?_

Diana woke up the following morning. Clark was stirring, but Lois was fast asleep. _I suppose she was exhausted. By Hera, all three of us were very lucky last night!_

Once Lois was finally awake, the three began to discuss their plans for the next few days.

"Lois, Diana," Clark said softly after checking a text message on his cell phone, "I've heard from the jewellers back in Metropolis. Those two sets of three matching rings we commissioned? They are ready. If Steve can collect the first set, would you bring our plan forwards…?"

"Ah, you intend to regularise our union sooner? I approve – and accept, of course!" Diana agreed.

"Smallville, Themyscira, propose to me properly!" Lois snapped.

Her lovers looked at each other, nodded, then they both got down on one knee and took one of Lois' hands in a two-handed grip. "Lois Lane, we love you, please will you marry us?" they asked in unison.

"Of course I will!" she laughed. "I just wanted a proper romantic proposal. _Bring our plans forwards? Regularise our union sooner?_ Where did I find you two?!"

"Right!" Diana paused. "Why not collect both sets? Steve can collect them en route. Once this whole problem is resolved, I want to marry you both. My mother, Kara and that Reverend Mother can compile a ceremony and conduct it for us. Then, we can start thinking about starting a family."

"We'll need to get Ma and Pa here," Clark pointed out. "Lucy, Steve, Perry and Jimmy would want to be here too." Clark and Diana had revealed their secrets to Perry White and Jimmy Olsen a couple of years before. Perry, it transpired, had deduced Superman's civilian identity long before and had had a suspicion as to Wonder Woman's within a week of being introduced properly to Diana Prince. Batman later told his friends that he suspected Jim Gordon knew who most of the "Bat-family" really were, just never admitted it. Since his daughter and son-in-law are prominent members, his need to have plausible deniability was understandable.

"Wedding dresses, morning suits, bridesmaids and stewards," Lois noted. "Plenty to organise.

"Now we have just about enough time to celebrate our engagement properly!"

As she undid her bathrobe and let it fall to the ground revealing her naked body beneath, Lois was glad to note both her fiancé and her fiancée were copying her actions.

Batman stood in the village square. The townsfolk and visitors were gathered around him. "What combat experience do you have?" he asked one man.

"I was a pirate for some years, matey" Killian snapped. "What did you think we did all day? Say "Aarrgh"?!"

"That was the worst attempt at a West Country accent I've heard in a long time," a wincing Joe said to Harry.

"Ginny would have been as appalled as you are," his friend agreed. "Long John Silver has a lot to answer for!"

"What about you?" Batman asked another man.

"Does the name 'Robin Hood' ring any bells?" Robin enquired.

"And you, boy?" Batman asked a youth.

"I've been teaching Nicholas self-defence for some months," Kono Kato announced. "He's able to look after himself against most opponents.

"Perhaps if you stopped being the fierce scourge of the Gotham underworld, we might actually teach them something, not just annoy them."

"Perhaps we should take over, Batman," Paul Reid asked. "They know and trust us." _Plus we may be less likely to start a diplomatic incident ourselves…_

"Indeed, Mr Hornet," the Dark Knight agreed. "I seem to be getting nowhere with these people. Perhaps you and your associate could do better?"

"Batman, we already know their civilian identities!" Emma grumbled. "Please let your friends do something useful, rather than just standing there treating us like grade-school kids!"

"You have a disagreeable attitude, Ms Swan!" Batman grumbled.

"Why don't you check with Natasha to see how her friends are coming along?" Harry suggested before Emma could reply that her attitude was nowhere near as disagreeable as his.

The Caped Crusader left. "Now," Harry continued, "let's continue to see what we can do to help."

"From what Kono, Roy and I saw yesterday," Nightwing continued, "Most of you are good with a bow, usually a crossbow, although I assume Mr Hood and his friends prefer a longbow." Robin nodded. "Your men are capable with swords, spears and axes too.

"What we need to do is discuss tactics and give you a brief primer in martial arts. Donna and Diana, with help from me and Joe, will show you some pankration, an Ancient Greek fighting style mixing elements of what we call boxing and wrestling.

"What preparations are being made in the event of a siege?"

The training proceeded in an orderly manner from then on.

Mr Gold entered a police station. He dropped a sealed A4 manila envelope at the front desk.

"Can you pass this to the relevant organisation please?" he asked. "It is vital for international security that this message reaches the right people."

The officer on duty looked at him strangely. _Another conspiracy theorist or nut._ "Certainly. UNCLE? UNIT? SHIELD?"

"The W.I.N., please."

"W.I.N.?"

"Yes. I believe it stands for World Intelligence Network."

"Never heard of them!" He picked up a phone handset and entered an external number. "Hello, HQ ... I've got some nut in the office, dropping off a letter … Says it involves international security and is for the World Intelligence Network … They exist?... OK, a courier will take it to you as soon as convenient … Thank you. Goodbye!"

He turned back to face over the desk. "Thank you for dropping this off, Mr…" He trailed off, as the envelope had been left on the desk. Gold had left the building.

Kara and Clark circled the sky surrounding Storybrooke, searching for signs of the Amazons. "I'm very happy for the three of you, Kal!" the former commented, her cousin and his betrothed having announced the happy news that morning.

"Thank you, Kara! We would like you to do the Kryptonian parts of the ceremony."

"There aren't that many of us, I guess," she agreed. "Unless you would prefer Zod…?"

Her cousin's look of complete horror was all the response she needed.

"I can't see anything!" she concluded. "Can you?"

"No!" he agreed. "Let's consult Rover."

They landed in a clearing, in which Lois was consulting the robot, whilst Zee, Wednesday and Harry were walking around the perimeter of Storybrooke. Every now and again, Wednesday would point an elegant finger or twitch her nose, Harry would wield his wand and mutter something in Latin and Zee would say something backwards. The ground and air would suddenly shimmer briefly.

"What are you up to?" Kara asked.

"Sesnes rieht esufnoc!" Zee pronounced. "Hi! Just adding some confusion spells to the grounds. That should make any unwelcome guests wander around aimlessly for some time. Wednesday and Harry are doing the same.

"Now to continue. Dnaskciuq ot dnuorg!" Another shimmer. "Now don't stand there! You may get that sinking feeling…"

Meanwhile, Clark joined his human fiancée in addressing Rover II. "Are there any signs of Amazons other than Wonder Woman and Troia in the vicinity, Rover?"

"Yes, there are boats from the Themyscira area of the Bermuda Triangle landing a few miles up the coast. These boats are manned by females and are of Hellenistic design. Similar vessels have arrived from a safe harbour outside of New York City. The attack is expected tomorrow."

"Well," Lois noted, "they are throwing us an engagement party at Granny's Diner tonight. Steve is coming tonight and bringing the rings with him."

One of her future mothers-in-law was busy drilling her troops. "We are to launch our siege of Storybrooke tomorrow morning," Queen Hippolyta declared.

"Soon I shall be a married woman," Athena declared brightly. "What do we do about the defenders? Some of them are friends of ours."

"We are not fighting to kill, but to take what we want," her grandmother announced. "Once Henry and Athena are married, all hostilities will cease. Diana was saying something recently about having an announcement looming. I wonder what it was.

"Now, continue our drill!"

The IADC plane arrived near Storybrooke. As it flew into land, Regina let them in with the Scroll. Steve Trevor disembarked, as did Cassie Sandsmark in her Wonder Girl costume and Jonathan and Martha Kent. The latter two quickly embraced their adopted son and his betrothed ladies.

"Welcome to the family, my daughters," Martha announced.

"Thanks, Mrs K," Lois responded.

"I think you and Diana can call us Ma and Pa," Jonathan chimed in.

"Here are the rings," Steve announced, handing them to Diana. He then stared at Lois and Clark. "Now I should threaten you both with dire punishments if you hurt Diana. She, however, can look after herself and I'm not tough enough to scare Clark or scary enough to threaten Lois."

The people watching applauded as Clark placed a ring on Lois' finger, she placed a second on Diana's and the Amazon placed the third on the Kryptonian's. They then somehow managed to position their faces so that part of each set of lips was touching both of the other two's.

"That was sweet!" Emma commented to Killian.

"Yes, it was!" Jack Harkness agreed. "Now, what are the two of you up to this evening? I've always wanted to play naked cops and pirates!"

The couple looked at each other, then at the Torchwood head. _"Really…?"_ asked a bemused Emma, shaking her head.

"Aww, come on," Jack protested. "You were a tearaway, he was a pirate. Now, Killian, please can you wear the hook…?"

"Whatever for?" asked the former Captain Hook.

"Probably best not to ask!" Harry Potter observed. "He has a fetish involving stopwatches, or so I've heard."

"Well, perhaps if you and Ginny weren't so frigid and kept turning down my proposals for three-ways, you would have found that out for yourselves."

" _Frigid…?_ " asked a bemused Wednesday Addams. "I've always found the Potters quite liberated in the bedroom, _mon vieux_!"

"You're joking, right?"

"Ah," Harry nodded, "Ginny and I have a thing for hot older witches!" He burst out laughing. "Of course she's joking! Although if we did think of spicing up our marriage in that way, the two of you would be among the first people we'd consider."

"I'm surprised he hasn't approached the newly engaged trio," Killian commented.

"He has," Harry commented, "a couple of years back now. Lois kicked him in the groin and told him it would be _both_ Clark _and_ Diana _simultaneously_ doing the kicking next time he asked. Apparently, he's never asked since…"

As Clark and Diana led Lois to the dance floor for an unusual waltz, Joe noted the yellow light on his watch. Retrieving his briefcase, he quickly removed his communicator from its secret compartment.

"Joe 90 receiving!"

"Ah, Joe," Shane Weston, the American Head of the W.I.N.'s London operations, began. "We've had a message from a Mr Gold, formerly of Storybrooke. Apparently, he made a deal with Ra's Al Ghul, in which Ra's creates a diplomatic incident to end Gold's exile. Once he has returned, Ra's gets his pick from the items in Gold's shop."

"So that's his game!" Regina grumbled. "I should have known Gold would be involved somehow."

"In any event," Weston continued, "we expect the Amazons to attack tomorrow morning. Spider-Man and Spider-Woman should be with you by late morning. Do what you can to hold them back until then.

"W.I.N. London, over and out!"


	6. Chapter 6: Attack of the Amazons

It was early morning, just after dawn. All of Storybrooke had gathered in the town square. Superman, Wonder Woman, Troia, Supergirl, Arsenal, Wonder Girl, Zatanna, the Black Widow, the Green Hornet and his junior partner were all in full costume, as inevitably were Batman, Catwoman and Nightwing. Wonder Woman and Troia were carrying their swords sharp enough to cut through atoms. Arsenal had a longbow and various bladed weapons. The Green Hornet had his gas gun in his right hand and the Hornet Sting hidden up his right sleeve. Jack was wearing his long, blue coat, with his heavy revolver clasped tightly in his hands. Sam and Joe had their W.I.N. automatics, Willie Garvin his harness of throwing knives, Modesty Blaise her Brevete and kongo and Harry his wand. The Storybrooke folk were armed with longbows, crossbows, swords, axes and spears. Emma also carried her own gun.

Rover was stationed by the town hall. "A large number of female warriors have gathered outside the town. Storybrooke is under siege by the Amazons."

Wonder Woman and Superman turned to Lois, who was masterminding a first aid and logistics post. "Stay safe, my loves," she told them anxiously. She pulled her betrothed into a three-way hug, ended with three long, deep kisses.

Harry turned to Wednesday. "I'll take to the skies." He mounted his broom. "Can you and Zee provide ground level magical support?"

" _Oui, mon vieux_ ," she purred. "I believe Ginny and the children are coming for the nuptials?"

"That's the plan. Lily's looking forward to seeing her godmother again."

"I thought she saw Luna all the time?"

"Her other godmother!"

"Goth Lady's your daughter's godmother?" Ava asked incredulously. "Aren't you worried you may end up with part of your house resembling a crypt?"

Wednesday, knowing the former Gretel considered her "not bad for a witch", merely sighed and rolled her eyes. Harry somehow managed not to laugh.

Those fighters in the various familial, romantic and close platonic relationships said their goodbyes. Jack winked at Emma and Killian, who both glared at him, before the sheriff locked lips with the pirate. Joe hugged his adopted father and his "Uncle" Sam, before going over to Henry. "I'll be guarding you, Henry," he said gravely.

"OK, Joe!" his friend agreed. Henry paused, then said, "You have Diana's brain patterns. Where is Princess Athena likely to be?"

" _Seriously…?_ " Emma asked.

"Yes, Moms, I want to speak with her. Perhaps I can stall her until that antidote gets here."

"There are signs of the subliminal signalling and the chemicals in the atmosphere," Sam noted. "Apparently, Spider-Man has an antidote to the latter and Iron Man to the former. Both are on their way in a SHIELD Jumper, alongside Spider-Woman."

"Take me to Athena, Joe!" Henry commanded.

"I'll see if we can parley," his friend agreed.

Hippolyta was surprised to see her daughters, Superman, Supergirl and Wonder Girl emerge. Unlike Diana and Donna, Cassie was blonde. She wore a variant of Donna's own old Wonder Girl outfit, all red and yellow.

"We don't want a war, my mother," Wonder Woman pleaded.

"Then give up Henry!" Hippolyta snapped.

"He's not ours to give!" her elder daughter responded. She sighed. "I suppose you have no objection to single combat?"

" _Diana…?_ Please…" Superman began.

"Hush, darling. Not to the death, mother, just until one of us is out of the fight?"

Hippolyta agreed. Wonder Woman took up a defensive stance, which her mother copied. Then, at the same moment, they sprang into life, clashing their swords together. They used their free arms to grapple with each other. The duel promised to be prolonged and brutal.

Mr Gold entered another police station. Once again, he passed an envelope to the officer on duty and asked for it to be passed to the World Intelligence Network on a matter of international security. Yet again, by the time the officer had called HQ to verify the story, all that was left was the envelope.

Henry and the group surrounding him were led by Joe to a clearing just outside Storybrooke. Athena and her personal guard of young Amazons had been stationed there. Joe raised his right hand palm upright to signify their intention to parley. Henry then bowed to Athena, who nodded in return.

"Princess Athena, I was raised via a system for the orphaned and abandoned. My mother was in jail and my father had abandoned us. It was only by chance I was adopted by my brunette Mom, the former stepmother of my maternal grandma. Actually, she could be my paternal aunt!"

Regina frowned. "Cora and Rumpelstiltskin were certainly intimate. I wouldn't rule it out!"

"Thanks, Mom!" Henry then continued to address Athena. "I wouldn't want to be separated from any daughters we would have. It's awful in care. I was separated from my blonde Mom, she was from her parents and my other grandpa from my dad. Our family is still recovering.

"I am begging you. Please, if we are to do this, I want a full share in my daughters' future. I need to have a say in their education, their training and their play. In short, I want to see them on a regular basis.

"This would already be a compromise. We are Fairy Tale folk. Our entire culture is based around finding our One True Love. You could be mine, but we don't know each other well enough to have found out."

Athena laughed. "More stalling tactics! Honestly, no man would care about his wife and children. My grandmother is…"

"A victim of rape, by another demi-god!" Regina interjected. "Hardly a typical male!"

"I know," Henry continued, "that Aunt Diana and her betrothed have an unconventional relationship, but you seem to like Clark."

"Does that mean I can call him and Lois Uncle and Auntie?" Athena beamed. "Thank Hera! He's an alien. That's different."

"I've met Jonathan and Martha Kent, his adoptive parents, a few times," Joe noted. "They're both in Storybrooke at the moment. Clark shares _their_ values. After all, _they_ raised him!"

"He was just lucky!" Athena decided. "Now will you marry me or not?"

"Yes!" Henry announced.

Everyone looked at him.

"Are you sure about this, dude?" Nicholas asked. He, Ava and Grace had decided to stay with their friends.

"If it saves Storybrooke from war, then yes I am!

"Princess Athena, meet me here in half-an-hour with your wedding party. I'll take you to the Mother Superior's Convent. We'll be married there."

Wonder Woman continued to battle her mother, the air ringing with the sound of clashing metal. She had her magic belt, granting her strength, speed, stamina and abilities in addition to her Amazonian heritage. Queen Hippolyta, however, had the same heritage and over three millennia of additional combat experience.

"I do hope you, your sister, your boyfriend and your girlfriend survive," her mother reiterated.

"Actually, as of yesterday morning, it's fiancé and fiancée!" Wonder Woman corrected, raising her left ring finger in order to properly display her engagement ring. "Clark and Lois have matching rings!"

"Congratulations, Diana!" Hippolyta exclaimed overjoyed. "Are you planning your nuptials?"

"Hopefully, here, the day after tomorrow. If this is resolved, will you escort me to meet my bride and groom at the ceremony?"

"Of course, but for now, we must continue to fight!"

Once again, a sword strike was deftly parried, before a counter-strike was attempted in return.

Superman continued to watch, in awe of Wonder Woman's fighting skills. _The day after tomorrow can't come quickly enough! I can't wait until I can call her and Lois my wives!_

Noticing a couple of Amazonian soldiers attempting to capture Troia and Wonder Girl, he used his heat vision to carve a ditch in the soil between hunters and hunted. This alerted his friends to launch a counter-attack, assisted by Kara. Having been driven back, the soldiers retreated hastily.

"Can this tin can go any faster?" Peter Parker complained.

"I designed this "tin can"!" Tony Stark retorted.

"Sorry, Tony," Peter was genuinely apologetic. "I'm just worried…"

"…For our friends. Yes, we know!" Jessica Drew finished for him. "So are we!"

Peter nodded and produced one of a number of adapted water cannons. "These creations of yours definitely work, Tony, as do these." The second item looked like a small satellite dish, mounted on a cubic steel box.

"We've also checked the formula, several times. It does seem to quickly counteract the nerve agent Ra's is using."

The Jumper sped towards the Maine coast.

"Regina," Joe suggested, "If you and the remaining forces can leave the town to confront the Amazons, Henry and I can form a wedding party. You will need to give Henry the Scroll. Have you spoken to the Mother Superior?"

"Yes, we have," Regina sighed. "Henry, my son, are you sure…?"

"Of course not, Mom, but what choice do we have? You, Grandma and Grandpa keep telling me how a proper prince should behave. Well, now I have to give up my freedom for my people."

Emma nodded, before hugging Henry tightly. Regina followed suit. All three were sobbing.

The yellow light on Joe's watch once again flashed. He activated his communicator.

"Joe!" Shane Weston's voice sounded over the device. "Gold has been back in touch! We now have a location for Ra's Al Ghul."

"Mr Weston," Batman spoke from where he was posted, "Can you give me his whereabouts? Catwoman and I can take the Batplane and put a stop to his plans."

"Certainly. It's just outside Boston…"

The duel continued. By now, both Wonder Woman and her mother had received a number of small wounds. Since Amazons healed quickly, they were not noticeably inconvenienced.

Diana privately thought her greater strength and stamina was beginning to tell over her mother's experience. Suddenly, she spotted an opening her mother had left. A deft swipe of her sword and her mother's weapon was knocked out of her hand, coming to a halt some twenty yards away.

"Do you yield, mother?" Wonder Woman demanded.

"Not until I have Prince Henry as a son-in-law!" Hippolyta responded.

"Look out!" Wonder Girl shouted. Two crossbow bolts flew towards Wonder Woman and Hippolyta. Both suddenly veered off course, icing as they did so, literally blown away by Superman and Supergirl.

By now, a number of Storybrooke folk, costumed vigilantes, metahumans, sorcerers and secret agents were leaving Storybrooke. They were lining up in good order, with Superman, Supergirl and Harry Potter on his broomstick hovering above the three rows of ground troops. Facing them were three lines of Amazons.

"Amazons! Attack!" yelled Hippolyta. The mass of warrior women stormed towards the Storybrooke front line. The real battle for the hand of Henry Mills was underway.

The Batplane flew out of Storybrooke over the harbour. Batman turned the larger of his two principle aircraft towards the outskirts of Boston. Catwoman, sat beside him, was navigating.

"The co-ordinates for the supposedly condemned out-of-town hotel Ra's is using as a base have been provided by the W.I.N." she noted. "There's plenty of open space nearby to land."

Batman nodded. "What of Mr Gold? Or Talia?"

"The former Rumpelstiltskin is staying with Ra's in the hotel. He hasn't seen your psycho-bitch from hell ex in a couple of weeks apparently."

"Anyone would think you were jealous!"

"She's your ex! I'm bound to be jealous!"

Henry and Joe were dressed in their best suits. "Are you sure that you want to go through with this, Henry?" his friend asked.

"No, but I must! Let's hope your friends with the antidote and jamming machinery get here soon."

Joe checked his watch. "Time to go and meet your bride!"

The battle was raging. The Storybrooke lines were well-drilled and were holding under the Amazons' onslaught. Volley after volley of crossbow bolts and arrows were being fired by a selection of bowmen under Arsenal's command. They were not aiming to kill, but to keep the Amazons crouched down and penned in. Harry Potter was using minor jinxes cast from above to disrupt the warrior women's charge forward. Wednesday Addams and Zatanna Zatara were doing the same from ground level. Wonder Woman and Troia were leading David, Killian and the other expert swordsmen in a counterattack, attempting to drive the Amazons back. A group of men and women were using long spears and pikes in a schiltron. The reach of the spears, arranged like a giant hedgehog, meant the Amazons had to bypass that section. The schiltron itself, by occasionally moving slowly forward like a human juggernaut, was able to drive their foes back towards their own lines.

Regina was facing Hippolyta across the battlefield, separated by barely more than a cricket square.

"Are you ready to surrender Henry yet?" her opponent called out.

"I believe he is prepared to wed your granddaughter if he has to. We seem to be holding firm, so he may not need to do so!"

"We Amazons have centuries of training. Don't revel in your victory just yet!"

"You know, your majesty," Regina commented, "If you could just allow us all to have joint custody of Henry's daughters…"

"There will be no compromise!"

"You'll break Henry's heart!"

"You'll crush Athena's!"

"No, but I will tear out and crush yours, _literally_!" Regina was stopped from rushing Hippolyta purely by being held back by Wednesday Addams and Modesty Blaise. "Regina-love, stop!" Modesty commanded her. "You'll only worsen the diplomatic incident!"

"Ha!" Hippolyta mocked. "No Queen of Themyscira would allow herself to be so swayed!"

Regina groaned and turned to David and Mary Margaret. "Have you ever met a monarch so stubborn and unable to admit she is wrong?" She received two pointed glances. "I used to be like this, didn't I?" Two nods. "Well, if it helps, I'm sorry."

"Let's leave the self-recriminations for later!" the Green Hornet advised. "They are still charging us!"

"So they are!" Regina nodded. Having seen "300" recently she then yelled at Hippolyta, "So are you leaving with your shields or upon them?! Molon Labe!"

"Come and take _what_ , you uneducated barbarian?!"

"Sorry?"

"You just said "Having come, take!" Presumably, Henry? Otherwise, I would have to assume you meant "it" or "them", depending on the context."

"I see," Regina muttered. "Memo to self: don't use Ancient Greek on an Amazon!"

"We should be at our destination in twenty-five minutes or so," Tony announced.

"A good thing, Tony, as our time is limited," Peter announced. "I'll do a last check of the equipment, then we will have to suit up."

Athena and her personal guard stood just outside the area of Storybrooke. On time, Henry and Joe appeared to materialise out of nowhere. They strode forward, with Joe's hand once more clearly signalling "Parley".

"Hi, Joe!" Chloe ran up to greet her friend. "You've brought us our prince then?"

"I'm escorting Henry," he replied. "He's coming of his own free will. Now the sooner we can get this whole matter resolved, the sooner our friends can stop this unnecessary battle."

"That is our desire too," Athena assured him. Rather than full battle garb, she was clothed in a short white dress of Hellenistic design, as were her wedding party.

"Princess Athena, you are gorgeous!" Henry told her. Indeed, she was looking even more likely than ever to blossom into a tall, curvaceous, raven-haired facsimile of her aunts. "I have no complaints about your beauty."

"Then why are you so reluctant to marry me?" she demanded.

"There is more to a successful marriage than thinking your spouse beautiful," Henry pointed out. "You need True Love! We barely know each other. Can you say for sure that you can survive living with me for the next few decades?"

"We won't be living together, so that's not relevant."

"This could be the least romantic marriage in Fairy Tale history!"

Henry produced the Scroll and they were standing in the town square.

Lois Lane was directing logistics and co-ordinating medical attention. Athena ran over to greet her. "Congratulations, Auntie Lois! I can call you Auntie now you're engaged to Auntie Di, can't I?"

"Of course you can, Athena." Lois agreed, embracing her. She then turned to Joe and Henry. "Are Clark and Diana…?"

"As far as we know," Joe assured her. "Henry here has agreed to marry Athena. Once the ceremony is over, we will go out and announce the news. Hopefully, that will end the fighting."

"That's good. Oh, Athena, we'll need to meet up to discuss dresses. I'll assume you'll be in Diana's bridal party? We've scheduled the ceremony for the day after tomorrow."

"You can discuss that later, Lois," Joe urged. " _Athena's_ ceremony is due to begin in five minutes time."

At that, the party headed for the convent.

Nobody had noticed, however, an extra "Amazon" with a long white streak running through her black hair. Equally, the tall blonde girl in modern dress following the wedding party discretely went unnoticed.


	7. Chapter 7: Henry! Henry! HENRY!

The battle of Storybrooke was raging fiercely. Superman and Supergirl were flying over the action, using heat vision to force the Amazons back. Arsenal and his archers were keeping up their covering volleys of arrows and bolts. Nightwing and Kato were giving an exemplary show of their martial arts abilities on the Amazons. The Black Widow was using her Widows' Bites to Taser approaching foes, whilst the Green Hornet was using his gas gun to knock them out. Modesty was using her kongo club, whilst Willie was foregoing his knives to use his fists and feet. Jack and Sam were using their guns in a similar approach to the archers, as were Emma and Regina with their fireballs. Wonder Woman, Troia and Wonder Girl were leading the best sword and axe fighters in pushing back their opponents' front line by battering on their shields with gusto.

Harry (still on his broom), Wednesday and Zee were using their own magic to great effect. At a twitch of the nose from Wednesday, a wave of his wand from Harry, or a phrase spoken backwards from Zee, an Amazon would be entangled in vines or sink up to their waists in the earth. Every so often, either Harry or Wednesday would cast a stun hex with pinpoint accuracy into the mass of enemy combatants.

The schiltron were holding firm under a phalanx a group of Amazons had formed. The longer reach of the Storybrooke pikes were making it hard for the shorter spears of their Hellenic opponents to reach them. Having said that, the mass of shields were making it hard for the schiltron to advance in return.

The bridal party was let into the convent by one of the sisters. They came down the nave of the chapel to the main altar, in front of which the Mother Superior was standing. The Blue Fairy looked at the wedding party. "I understand an Amazon will conduct their parts of the joint ceremony?"

One of the bridal party stepped forward. "I am Selene, a priestess of the Six Goddesses. I will be the celebrant for Themyscira!"

"Thank you. Be welcome, all of you.

"Now, we are gathered today to celebrate the wedding of Princess Athena of Themyscira and Henry Mills of Storybrooke. Before I continue, I must ask if anyone knows of any impediment in law…"

At that moment, the door burst open and a blonde burst into the room, shouting "Henry! Henry! HENRY!"

All eyes fixed on her, Ava ran up to the altar, flung her arms round Henry and kissed him fiercely on the lips. After a moment, she ended their kiss, turned to Athena. "Back off, Greek Girl! Henry is my fiancé, not yours!"

"Impudent wench!" snarled Athena. "I'll wed him by force, if need be!"

She charged at Henry, only to receive a flying kick from Ava in the upper chest. A body strike from the girl once known as the fierce witch-slayer Gretel sent the princess further back. The fight was on!

"Since when were you engaged to Ava?" Joe asked Henry.

"I'm not!" Henry looked thoughtful. "Pretty _and_ a good kisser? Maybe I should be!"

Ava had the upper hand, using a series of strikes to keep the princess on the back foot. The other Amazons, knowing Athena would feel she lost face if she needed assistance, kept back.

Suddenly, Ava made a mistake. Forgetting the warnings about judo being of limited use in a straight fight, she tried a hold and throw. Grappled to the ground, Athena responded by using a number of pankration moves amongst those that would later develop into modern wrestling.

"Ha!" she laughed. "Your fiendish oriental tricks will do you no good now!"

Athena, as an Amazon, was stronger and had more stamina than Ava. She had also learned pankration from infancy. Ava had been given a basic primer the day before. Horribly outclassed, she was losing badly.

Seizing an opportunity, she adapted a judo throw to fling the Amazon off her and rose to her feet.

"Ava, watch out!" Henry yelled. It was too late! Athena had landed near a Greek spear, grabbed it and swung the pole into Ava's knees hard. The plucky girl fell backwards and before she knew it was flat on her back, Athena's left foot on her chest and the point of the spear at her throat.

The Amazon Princess pulled the spear back and prepared to thrust home. "You tried to steal my bridegroom. Now you must pay with your life!"

"NO!" Henry yelled. "Don't kill her! I'll marry you in exchange for her life."

"Good!" Athena agreed. "I even have a hostage to ensure your compliance." She turned to her party. "Bind her hands and feet and gag her!"

She lifted her foot from Ava's chest, but kept the spear-point close to her neck, until a couple of her guard had grabbed her prisoner by the arms. She was promptly lifted to her feet and dragged off to the altar steps, where she was forcibly seated. One Amazon drew her arms behind her and bound her wrists with cord, whilst another lifted her legs and lashed her ankles together. A third gagged her with a length of cloth.

"Now that she is secured and silenced," Athena commanded, "Hold a knife blade an inch from her neck." One of her guard obeyed. "Now, if Henry doesn't continue with the ceremony, slit her throat!"

One look at Ava's face, half-hidden by the gag, ended any resolve Henry had to stall. The miserable look in her eyes as the Amazon held her head back with the knife almost at her throat was unbearable. He turned to the Mother Superior and the Amazon priestess. "Proceed with the ceremony, please!"

Nobody had noticed that one of the nuns had left during the kerfuffle, taking the Scroll with her.

The pilot of the SHIELD jumper switched to Stealth Mode, as they approached the Maine coast. The three passengers had changed into their costumes.

"Spider-Man, prepare to activate the jammer and the cannons!" Iron Man ordered. "Spider-Woman, join me in leaving the plane in the air."

The landing ramp lowered and Spider-Woman and Iron Man flew out. They shot through the trees towards the battle. The ramp was raised and the cloaked plane flew over the forest.

The battle was raging. Hippolyta was only a couple of yards from Regina.

"Will you give us your son or not?"

"Not unless he agrees! He is a kind young man!"

"Well, this woman was sexually assaulted by her father. This one was driven into prostitution. This one was raped…"

Regina sighed. "I've removed men's hearts, spoke into it to gain control of both their minds and libidos and then taken full advantage. That makes me a rapist too!

"My son, however, is not one!"

"Really?" Hippolyta mused. "Ah, a woman after my own heart…"

 _"_ _Seriously…?"_ Mary Margaret said, rolling her eyes. "Regina admitting to raping men makes her listen to us sympathetically?"

At that, two figures flew through the trees. Using disruptors and venom blasts respectively, Iron Man and Spider-Woman forced the combatants apart.

The Jumper then uncloaked. The ramp lowered and Spider-Man activated first the jamming device and then the cannons. With the influence of the subliminal signalling and the nerve agent subsiding, Hippolyta and her subjects began to feel less aggressive and determined.

One Amazon with a crossbow tried to open fire, but a rope of webbing attached itself to the weapon and it was yanked out of her hand. "Remember, a crossbow is not a toy. You can kill someone with it!" Spider-Man yelled down to her.

"What happened?" Hippolyta asked.

"That, Mother," Troia told her, "was that non-existent mind-control being stopped!"

"What have I done?" her mother groaned.

"Blame Ra's Al Ghul!" Superman told her. "He's behind this!"

"Queen Regina," Hippolyta announced, "I wish to apologise and to declare an end to hostilities."

Regina nodded and shook her opposite number's outstretched hand. "I accept your apology. This was not your fault.

"Now to stop a wedding!"

The nun with the Scroll appeared and raised it. They were back in Storybrooke. "Ms Mills, Princess Athena has taken Ava Zimmer hostage and is forcing Henry to go through with their wedding. If he doesn't, Ava dies!"

Michael Tillman and Nicholas Zimmer both screamed in anguish.

"Where is the wedding taking place?" Iron Man enquired. "He then turned to Regina, his face mask opening. "Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, your majesty! This is Spider-Woman, or Jessica Drew. He's Peter Parker, alias Spider-Man. We're here…"

"To help! Yes, Natasha said your friends were coming," Regina answered hastily. "We have to move fast, or that poor girl will be killed."

The Jumper landed. Iron Man grabbed the jamming device and Supergirl a cannon. They took to the air and followed the others to the convent.

The Mother Superior and the priestess had completed the preliminaries, asking their respective deities to bless the union. With only the drinking of the Waters of the Spring of Artemis, the vows and the signing of the register to go, the ceremony was coming to an end. Henry, catching another look at poor Ava, resolved to continue. _If she lives, all this will be worth it._

Priestess Selene handed the goblet filled with waters from the sacred spring to Athena, who raised it to her lips and drank. The goblet was wiped with a cloth, before it was handed to Henry. He prepared to copy Athena's actions…

The chapel door was flung open once again. The jamming device and cannons were turned out, both at maximum strength. Once again, the Amazons began to recover.

"What's going on, Grandma?" Athena asked as Hippolyta walked up the aisle.

"Diana, her betrothed and friends were telling the truth, Athena. We were being influenced by Ra's Al Ghul."

Athena touched Henry's hands, still poised to bring the edge of the goblet to his lips. "I'm sorry! You don't need to drink anything."

Henry went over and removed Ava's gag. Joe passed him a penknife and he cut the cords binding her wrists. She flung her arms around him and hugged him tight. Once their embrace had ended, he cut the rope tying her ankles together.

As Ava rubbed circulation back into her limbs, Talia Al Ghul, still unnoticed amongst the Amazon guards, raised her crossbow and fired directly at Ava. _If I can kill first her and then Henry, we might still be able to cause our war!_ As the bolt sped towards her, Regina cast a spell, which turned it into a red rose. Henry handed it to Ava, who embraced him warmly once again.

Hippolyta stared at Talia. "She's not an Amazon!"

Superman leapt into the air, flew down the aisle and tackled Talia to the ground, before she could fire at Henry and Ava.

"Talia Al Ghul!" Wonder Woman noted. "Still trying to cause your little war by disguising yourself as an Amazon and killing young Ava."

"Yes!" Talia spat at the Amazon. "And then Henry…"

Regina stuck her hand into Talia's chest and plucked out her heart. She squeezed it, seeing the pain on the assassin's face. Finally, she replaced it in the woman's chest. "Next time, I crush it to powder!"

"Batman is on his way to Ra's' hideout," Joe told the Demon's Head's daughter. "He should be arriving outside Boston shortly. You should be reunited with daddy dearest soon."

Michael Tillman turned to Regina. "You saved my daughter! It seems you have really changed this time. I forgive you!"

Ava smiled at Henry. "That's good! Now he won't complain when I thank you properly for being prepared to wed Princess Athena to save my life."

"I would have done it for…" Henry was about to say "for any of my people", but his friend silenced him by the effective means of covering his lips with hers. As he responded to her kiss, the couple held each other ever more tightly. Whilst they had begun to feel pangs during their kiss earlier, now, with the diplomatic incident over, they each recognised their One True Love in the other.

Regina grinned and turned to Emma and Michael. "It seems Henry has found love despite that idiot with the goatee and his League of Matchmakers' best efforts."

"On that note, Regina-love," Modesty asked, "What do we do with this lady?" She held Talia's left arm and Willie her right.

"Take her to my office!" Emma instructed. "We can stick Ms Al Ghul in a nice, cosy cell, until we decide what happens next. Is she under our jurisdiction, or Themyscira's?"

Hippolyta turned to Diana, Clark and Lois. "Congratulations on your engagement!"

"Thank you, your majesty," Clark responded politely.

"It's 'Mother' now, Clark! And the same for you, Lois."

"Thanks, Mother," Lois replied. She then checked her watch. "Now, we have about 50 hours to finish our wedding plans."

"More like 30, if we're not seeing each other the night before," her fiancé responded.

"Well, we had most of the plans already in place, so it's just finishing touches really," Diana reasoned.

Their kiss having ended, Henry and Ava were still locked in an embrace. "This probably goes without saying," he told her, "but will you be my girlfriend?"

"Well, Henry," she responded, "Where else will you find a Storybrooke girl who isn't afraid of half of your immediate family?! Yes, of course!"

Their lips met once more.

Ra's Al Ghul poured Mr Gold another dram of Scotch. "Soon, our plans will come to fruition."

The window shattered from Batman's flash-bang grenade. The vigilante swung into the room on a grapple-line and immediately started taking down the League members acting as Ra's' personal guard.

"You were saying, _dearie_?!" Gold responded.

The Demon's Head sighed. "Detective! How tiresome!"

"Well, if you stopped your mad crusade," the Dark Knight growled, "We would stop meeting like this!"

Ra's tried to flee as Ubu tried to stall Batman. As he headed for the steps, something wrapped around his legs, tripping him up.

"Going somewhere in a hurry, darling?" Catwoman purred, holding the other end of her whip.

After Batman had finished taking down Ubu, he went to Ra's and snapped Batcuffs on his wrists. "You should choose your allies more carefully next time! Mr Gold forwarded your address to the W.I.N.

"By the way, which one is he?"

Gold, however, had taken the opportunity provided by the chaos and fled. _Now to get back to Cruella and the others. This plan to return to Storybrooke has failed._

With marriage preparations in full swing, Regina used the Scroll to allow the Batplane to land in the Town Square. Ra's was led down the steps, still secured.

"Put him in a cell near to his daughter!" Emma commanded.

Regina reached into Ra's' chest and removed his heart. "The next time you try anything involving Storybrooke or Henry, I will give you a fatal heart attack. Do you understand?" She replaced it at his nod.

Roy chuckled. "I wonder how your Lazarus Pits' will work on corpses with no heart."

"That's a good question," Catwoman mused. "Please try something, Mr Al Ghul. I would love to find out the answer."

It was evening. Regina and Hippolyta were sharing a bottle of red wine at Granny's Diner. Henry and Ava were sitting opposite, locked together at the lips.

"You know, Regina, you must teach me that heart-rip technique!" the Queen of the Amazons announced.

"Why?"

"I must contact my old friend Heracles. You say you can control someone using it. Let's see how he likes spending a couple of years, nay decades, nay _centuries_ , as a vibrator that speaks!"

The two queens fell about laughing.

Donna approached Athena, sitting with her friends at a booth at Granny's. "My niece, we need to talk about what happened."

Athena started to cry. "I didn't mean to fight that girl, to take her hostage, or threaten to kill her. It was just that when she kissed Henry and then started to best me in combat in front of my friends…"

"Your honour was impugned!" Donna finished for her. "You will need to apologise to her and to Henry for what happened. Diana will have a word with them first.

"Before you do, I must tell you a few things about Ava Zimmer, or Gretel…"

Diana sat down next to her mother and Regina, still giggling like kindergarten girls. Ava and Henry were sitting holding hands.

"What do you two know about Amazon culture?" she asked.

"Not much," Henry admitted. "It's sort of like Ancient Greece."

Diana smiled. "Ancient Greece was an honour/shame culture, kind of like modern Iran or Saudi Arabia. When you did your "The Graduate" tribute, Ava, and then managed to almost defeat her in front of her friends, she was losing face. Given that, thanks to our friends in the cells, she was madly in lust and furiously angry…"

"I don't blame her!" Ava assured Diana. "That nasty father and daughter were responsible for what happened.

"If it helps, we can talk to her."

Athena came to their table a few minutes later. Her eyes were downcast and her hands clasped together in front of her. "I'm sorry. It's no excuse what the League of Assassins was doing to us."

"It _is_ an excuse," Ava assured her. "I'm only sorry I didn't give you more of a challenge."

"More of a challenge? Ava… Gretel… If you were more familiar with pankration, I would have been hard-pressed indeed to defeat you. You fight like an Amazon!"

"Yeah," Ava responded, "And you fight like a woodcutter's daughter!"

Athena laughed and pulled Ava and Henry into a three-way embrace. "May I be a bridesmaid at _your_ wedding?" she asked.

Ava nodded, before she and Henry shared another kiss.

"It won't be for a few years yet, though!" Henry noted. "There's a more pressing Royal Wedding imminent."

"Yes," Joe agreed, joining them. "There should be an impressive guest list…"


	8. Chapter 8: A Royal Wedding

The next day in Storybrooke saw tremendous activity. With Diana of Themyscira due to marry both her long-term life-partners early the following afternoon, it was impossible to move without seeing Fairy Tale folk, Amazons, meta-humans and others preparing for the ceremony. The three lovers had decided to spend their last day or so before the wedding apart, not seeing each other until they met at the glade selected for the wedding.

Regina led Harry and Wednesday out to a clearing in the Maine Forest. "Who are we expecting?" she asked.

Harry grinned. "A party from England!"

A number of people arrived by portkeys. "Regina Mills, may I introduce you to my wife Ginny, our children James, Albus and Lily and my godson Teddy Lupin? This is my brother-in-law Ron Weasley, his wife Hermione and their two kids Rose and Hugo. These are Neville and Hannah Longbottom, Rolf, Luna, Lorcan and Lysander Scamander and Rex Milligan. All are wizards and witches, except Rex, who writes on non-magical affairs for a wizard newspaper."

"Pleased to meet you, your highness!" the tall, dark-haired man identified as Rex Milligan said politely. "Now where are my old friends the McClaines?"

"Joe is helping with the wedding preparations, _mon vieux_. Mac is using his Jet Air Car to pick up Perry White and Jimmy Olsen," Wednesday informed him. "Batman is picking up some more of his 'family' in the Batplane; Kono is picking up Richard, Sharon and Craig from the Base Camp after their latest mission finally concluded; Tony and a SHIELD Jumper pilot are collecting Captain America, Hawkeye, Wolverine and the Scarlet Witch; Jack is collecting Kate Stewart from the local UNIT airfield; and others will be coming in various ways.

"Ah, here comes another one!"

With a strange whining and groaning noise, a blue box with a blue light flashing on top started to appear. After fading in and out of existence for a few seconds, it solidified, the light went out and the noise stopped. A door in the front of the box opened and a tall, grey-haired man, apparently in his fifties, emerged. "Is this the location of Storybrooke?" he asked in a Scottish accent. "My psychic paper picked up an invite to the wedding of three old friends." He looked up. "Wednesday, good to see you again! Harry, Ginny, Rex and everyone, a pleasure. Now who is this female? Brunette, raised eyebrow, found in the Maine Forest…? Ah, you must be Snow White!"

Regina groaned. "I'm her former step-mother. I go by Regina Mills these days, Mr…"

"Doctor!"

"Doctor _who_?"

"Just the Doctor. Ah, yes, Cora's daughter. The one who recovered from a shaky start to become the white sheep of the family. That's good! I never liked Cora."

"Neither did anyone else who ever met her!" Regina admitted.

She raised the Scroll and Storybrooke appeared around them. "That was very powerful magic!" Hermione announced delighted.

"A state of quantum flux created by pure psychic energy," the Doctor noted. "Powered by a scroll from Arendelle, I believe. One of the best winter sports venues in the whole multiverse is Arendelle.

"Where are the happy trio?"

"Preparing for their wedding tomorrow," Harry informed him. "Are you coming to Clark's 'do' tonight, Doctor? Batman's organising it."

"Petrified Paintpots!" Rex muttered. "'Permanently Disgusted of Gotham City' arranging a Stag Do! You might just as well ask the Staggers and his cousin Charles Darbishire to invent one of their prefabricated death-traps for a wedding present!

"On the plus side, _this_ Doctor and Batman in the same room? _That_ should be fun!"

"Don't be so cynical, Rex!" Luna scolded.

"At heart, I'm still the boy who recorded the insanities of life at Sheldrake Grammar School in battered exercise books all those years ago, Luna. It's just life _is_ insane outside of your schooldays too!

"At least, Sheldrake wasn't Hogwarts! Compared to Umbridge and the Carrows, the Birk seems a saint. He could be strict, but he was never a psychotic bigot!

"Besides, your father's my editor. You know what journalists are like!"

"Wednesday," Regina asked her friend as they left to let the next guests to arrive in, "that Doctor, just who, or what, _is_ he?"

"He's a time-travelling alien," her friend told her, "and Jack's best friend. That box is a disguised craft that is much bigger within than without and can take him anywhere throughout time and space. He's one of the oldest, wisest and kindest people you'll ever meet. Just remember one thing: _whatever you do, don't make him mad at you…_ "

The appearance of a garishly-coloured camper van ended their conversation. "I imagine a talking dog is more in your comfort zone! Admittedly genetically-engineered, rather than magical, but still, a talking Great Dane is a talking Great Dane. I'm sure someone once told me they genetically-altered a German Shepherd too, but his main attribute was to keep wandering off…"

Other figures appeared during the course of the day. An archer dressed as Robin Hood, with a lady in a black leather jacket and dark fishnet tights; an orange and green clad man, who rose out of the harbour; a man in red and yellow, who ran so fast he caused sonic booms; a man clad in red, white and blue, with a similarly patriotic shield; a grizzled man, with greying dark hair and an eyepatch; a female journalist with greying dark hair and a robotic dog; and several others. "If you are anyone in our communities, you may well have an invite!" Natasha told a bemused Emma. As the individuals in question were a feral-looking man with extendable metal-encased claws in both hands and a scarlet-clad woman with incredible reality-warping powers, Emma just raised an eyebrow and asked _"Seriously…?"_

Three venues had been set aside for the three "parties". Lois' was at Granny's Diner, Diana's was at Regina's and Clark's in the Base Camp. Diana would spend the night with her mother, sisters and niece at the nearest SHIELD base.

Batman was in costume, but somewhat less grumpy than usual. Clark, Diana and Lois were three close friends and deserved their day to be a joyous one. The same went for Clark's last night as a bachelor. Whilst organising entertainment was more Bruce Wayne than Batman, he decided to try his best. There were fine beers, ciders, wines and spirits. The food was top quality, even the smallest nibbles.

Having said that, Batman's great skill lay in terrifying criminals, not observing social niceties. If you wanted a villain beaten to a pulp, there was no-one better. Throwing a bachelor party? Not so much!

Rex Milligan was enjoying a quiet drink with the Doctor, when the distinctive shadow of the Master of Ceremonies fell across their table. "Are you enjoying your evening?" he asked in his usual growl.

"Yes thank you, Batman!" Rex agreed. He produced a battered, dog-eared exercise book and a blue biro. "Please, can I have an interview…?"

"No, Mr Milligan," the Dark Knight replied, "I don't give interviews. As Batman, anyway…"

The Doctor looked at the vigilante. "Diplomacy not your strong point? You need someone to hit you when you are being insensitive. I used to have someone like that. Now I just have the cards."

 _"_ _Cards!"_ Rex exclaimed. "This I must see.

"Here you are!" The Doctor produced a series of typed notecards and began to read one in a dry, flat monotone: ""We are all probably doomed, but it's in a noble cause." Sensitivity personified!"

"Batman," Rex commented drily, "He makes _you_ seem empathetic!"

The Doctor turned to Nick Fury. "How is Spectrum coming along, Colonel White?"

"I'm Colonel Nick Fury of SHIELD, Doctor!"

"So you are! Well, part of SHIELD will evolve into Spectrum during the 2060s. Cloudbase was even modelled on the Helicarriers…"

Aside from Regina instructing Hippolyta on the finer points of heart-ripping, both giggling tipsily, there was little incident at Diana's party. Lois' party was notable only for some barbs exchanged by the bride to be and her younger sister.

The wedding dawned brightly, with the selected glade being covered with wreaths and garlands of colourful flowers. Henry, Ava, Nicholas, Grace and Joe all helped clear Granny's Diner and prepare it for the reception that late afternoon and evening. Well, the last three did, with the first two seeming to spend most of their time kissing.

It was just afternoon. The wedding guests were seated. Clark Kent was dressed in a smart, grey morning suit, standing alongside Jimmy Olsen, his best man. From two separate parts of the forest came the two brides. Like Athena two days previously, Diana was wearing a short white dress, clasped over one shoulder, leaving the entirety of her arms and the majority of her legs bare. A laurel garland kept her long black hair tied back and leather sandals were on her feet. She was escorted by her mother, sisters, niece and Cassie, all similarly attired. Lois was clad in the traditional long white dress with a short train, veil and headdress. Perry White was her escort and Lucy Lane her bridesmaid.

Once they had reached the makeshift altar, each of the brides took one of Clark's hands in one of their own. Diana clasped Lois' free hand in hers. Facing each other, the betrothed trio were ready for the service to begin. The Mother Superior, Priestess Selene and Kara had put together a simple ceremony.

After the Mother Superior had welcomed the guests and checked there was no legal impediment to the union, the Priestess invoked the blessings of the six goddesses for health, happiness and fertility. Kara led the trio through their vows. These declared each partner would never desert the other two, would gladly give their life for the others and would love the other two only and equally throughout all eternity.

"I now pronounce you man and wives!" declared the Mother Superior. "You may kiss…"

They did so, at some length.

After the resulting applause had died away, Hippolyta stood up. "As a result of the marriage, I am declaring my new son- and daughter-in-law as a Prince and a Princess of Themyscira, with all the duties and privileges thereby. Congratulations!"

"Did you hear that, Jonathan?" Martha Kent asked joyfully. "Our boy is now a prince!"

The reception was a joyous affair. Even the "Bat family", expanded to include Batgirl, Red Hood and Red Robin, were wearing tuxedos or ladies jackets over their costumes, as they had at the wedding. Green Arrow, Black Canary and the Flash were happily attending in their civilian identities, whilst Aquaman was asking everyone to address him as Arthur. As for Captain America, the Scarlet Witch, Wolverine and Hawkeye, their identities were all either generally known, or had never been a secret in the first place. Richard, Craig and Sharon may have been metahumans, but had never had masked identities as such. Everyone in Storybrooke knew Natasha, Paul and Kono personally anyway.

Most of the food seemed to be disappearing quickly, due to the talking dog and messy-haired apparent teenager from Mystery Inc. having vast appetites. Daphne had been discussing journalism with Rex and the team from the Daily Planet. Peter Parker exchanged photography tips with Jimmy Olsen.

Ava and Henry had long since decided to give up any activity other than sharing kisses. Regina and Hippolyta were by now more like sisters than the generals of two opposing armies. Hippolyta was fully confident her plan to finally exact payment in kind from Heracles would succeed. Given Athena was rapidly becoming good friends with Henry and Ava, it was felt that Storybrooke and Themyscira could be a major alliance, albeit unknown to most of the globe.

Emma would pop down to her office every so often to ensure her captives were still secure. If she were to occasionally mention that Regina would be more than happy to tear out and crush their hearts if they ever crossed her path again, well, you don't want anyone thinking Henry was fair game, do you.

Diana, Clark and Lois were on the dance floor. If they weren't improvising three-way dances, they were twirling friends and relatives around. Diana had danced with Steve Trevor and Jonathan Kent, the latter of whom had also led Lois around the floor. Lois had also danced with Perry White and Jimmy Olsen, whilst Clark performed quicker numbers with Hippolyta, Donna, Kara and his adoptive mother. The slower, romantic numbers were danced with either or both of his brides.

Natasha had showed off her skills as a former ballerina and was the most popular dance partner. Joe had been monopolised by Chloe, who was delighted to find her crush was a good dancer.

Ava was about to leave with Michael and Nicholas, but, seeing Wednesday talking with Harry, Ginny and their friends, couldn't resist a "Goodnight, Goth Lady!"

"Goodnight, Fairy Tale Girl!"

Ava grinned, before exchanging largely non-verbal "Goodnights" with Henry.

Jack was talking to the Doctor, Sarah Jane Smith, Kate Stewart and K-9. "Do you think we have time for a five-way?" he asked.

 _"_ _Jack!"_ the first three exclaimed in horror. K-9 merely stated, "Negative, Master Jack! This unit was not designed for such a purpose. I lack the appropriate organs and orifices to pursue those activities." Jack looked stunned, whilst his three other friends collapsed with laughter.

"Ah, well," Jack sighed, "I wonder if I can see how good the best man really is…"

Finally, it was time for Diana, Clark and Lois to retire for their wedding night. Clark called for silence. "Thank you to: Regina Mills for putting on this event for us; Kara, Selene and the Mother Superior for marrying us; Granny Lucas for this reception; to our various wedding parties; and, finally, you all for coming from practically everywhere."

"That was quite the day!" Regina said to Wednesday, Joe and Henry as they returned to her house. "It has given me ideas for you and Ava's nuptials, Henry!"

"Not for a few years yet, Mom!" Henry assured her.

"Well, _mon vieux_ , after this week, it might have been considered bad manners if you had promptly got married to someone else anyway."

"Yes," Joe agreed. "What are you going to do with the Al Ghuls, Regina?"

"Pass them on to the appropriate authorities, Joe." She then smiled thinly. "Of course, they will be given further warnings of possible heart-ripping first!"

"I can't say I'd be sorry for them if you did, Regina."


	9. Epilogue: Don't Wait Up!

Two days later, Diana was lying on a mat on a beach at Themyscira, along with her husband and wife. All three were only wearing their engagement and wedding rings. They were still damp from a swim in the sea and basking in post-coital bliss.

"This is my idea of a honeymoon!" Lois commented happily. "Making love, skinny-dipping, nude sun-bathing, making love, feasting, making love, sleeping, and did I mention making love?!"

"Just a few times, Lois! The locals like to stare!" Clark complained.

"Remember, darling, most of them have never seen a naked man before," Diana pointed out. "You are a prime example! Lois and I are considered highly desirable, too. As long as they realise it's "Look, but don't touch", I'm happy for them to keep staring at the three of us.

"Well, if they must stare," she reached for her spouses, "We must give them a show…"

Mid-Summer 2015

Another training session with Kono Kato over, Ava, Nicholas, Henry and Grace retired to Granny's Diner. "What did you learn today?" Emma asked.

"Oh, the usual. I learned to keep out of Ava's way!" Nicholas quipped. "That shoulder strike nearly paralysed me. Now, Henry…" He trailed off, as he turned to his left and saw his friend's back with his sister's arms wrapped tightly across it. From the way her face was partly obscured by the back of his head, it was obvious what they were up to. "You know, these visits to Granny's were much more fun when the two of you _talked_ and weren't just lip-locked and tongue-tied all the time.

"It's been a difficult few months. That business with Ra's Al Ghul, Cruella, and both your Moms nearly becoming the Dark One…"

He stopped as Ava removed her right arm from Henry's back, pointed at a nearby table and made an obvious shooing motion. "You want me to sit over there?" A thumbs-up was followed by her pointing at her wristwatch. "For some time?" Another thumbs-up and a karate chop. "Or else?" he clarified gulping. Thumbs-up again and a wave. "Goodbye? I'm going to that other table now!" As he got up, he saw a final thumbs-up before her arm returned to Henry's back once more. Their kiss had never broken.

"Gee," her twin grumbled, "I did so like the days when chatting to my sister and best buddy didn't involve charades!"

Emma turned to Regina. "Our little boy really has grown up, hasn't he?"

"He has!" she agreed. "I'm pleased for him. He's found True Love with the one girl in the town who regards the Evil Queen as a challenge and not a death sentence!

"Now, all this is quite stimulating! Robin's not available, however, and I can't find my usual electronic substitute. I must take that newly installed portal to Themyscira and see if Hippolyta will lend me Heracles for a couple of hours. Not for love, obviously, but as she said, he is effectively a sex toy these days. From the look of him, he should make for a good workout. Don't wait up!"

She left, leaving a stunned Emma behind her. _"Seriously…?"_

Shortly afterwards, Henry and Ava were chatting to Athena via the portal. "Henry, you Mom's here. Regina I mean, not Emma! Came through in a hurry and has since been locked in with Heracles. My Grandmother said she could "borrow her vibrator"!"

"Typical Mom!" Henry sighed. "Actually, by her standards, that's quite tame!"

"Any more adventures?" Ava asked Athena.

"Not really. Are you expecting one?"

"No, it would be nice, that's all! I want a proper fight!"

"Be careful what you wish for, Ava. You just might get it!"

"That's the fifth warship lost in the Caribbean this month!" Illya Kuryakin announced. "We will have to address the matter to the Council shortly, Napoleon."

Napoleon Solo sighed. "They are from five different countries, Illya, not all of them allied. Who could be doing this? SPECTRE? THRUSH? HYDRA? The League of Assassins?"

"I'm worried about sending in a salvage team," Illya replied. "How do we get a salvage expert no-one would ever suspect in? Wait, I have an idea! We must contact IADC and the W.I.N."

"Joe 90?"

"Joe 90!"

"And IADC?"

"If Steve, Diana, Shane and Sam can put together a team from Storybrooke and Themyscira of youngsters with adult supervisors… That would be highly unlikely to be suspected. We get a salvage expert via the B.I.G.R.A.T. If he needs back-up, he'll have Superman and Wonder Woman on hand.

"As for the other ones, it'll just be exploring, swimming and sun-bathing. What could possibly go wrong?"

 _To be continued…_

 **Authors Note**

Thank you to my fellow author on this site, Model Builder, for suggesting an OUAT/Wonder Woman crossover, featuring Henry Mills of Storybrooke being forced to marry an Amazon princess. Whilst the main storyline, many of the additional franchises included and all the faults were entirely mine, his initial and subsequent suggestions and encouragements were invaluable. If you are looking for a good OUAT crossover, by the way, he has written three (one due a sequel) and a fourth is in progress.

Just a few further words. If anyone is wondering why a boy spy from a TV show first shown in 1968 is only about 20 or so months older in 2015, per the TV Century 21 chronology, the series was set in c.2012-13. UFO (the later TV series SHADO hails from) was set c.1980, despite being first shown in 1970. Stingray, Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons are all due to take place in the 2060s. In my nascent Storyverse, by the way, the Doctor is quite correct to say part of SHIELD will evolve into Spectrum.

Wonder Woman's creator William Moulton Marston lived with his wife and another woman for many years, with the two women living together for about forty years after his death (until the other woman herself died in fact). I couldn't resist giving Superman both his usual and current comic loves – and placing Wonder Woman in her own ménage a trois…

My stories are slightly AU to OUAT canon as it is currently evolving, due to the nightmare of fitting the Dark Swan storyline into my chronology (particularly as it isn't over yet).

I hope you found the above helpful and enjoyed the story. Thank you for reading.


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